The SEAL's Surprise Son (The Admiral's Seals, #1) - Leslie North Page 0,40

was putting the pieces together.

“Yes,” she admitted.

“And when I wasn’t available, you went on your own. Jesus, Carolyn.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “You could have been walking right into a trap. Did you think of that?”

“Like I said, I didn’t—”

He cut her off. “You shouldn’t have been in that neighborhood by yourself. It’s not a place where women should go alone.”

“Okay,” she said, “so I made a mistake, but it’s fine. Nothing happened.”

“It’s not fine. You promised me that you’d wait and let me handle this.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to apologize, but she stopped herself. She’d done the right thing by backing away. Why was he acting as though she’d thrown herself in the path of a speeding bus? Her sense of fear and self-preservation had kicked in at just the right time. They stood feet apart, staring at each other, and she had a flashback to the night she’d ended their engagement. The scene had played out in a similar way, but she’d been the one talking, and he’d been on the defensive.

“I need to go.” He pushed off the counter and walked to within a foot of her. His usually vibrant eyes were steely blue and unforgiving. She imagined this was how his adversaries saw him, an uncompromising, dangerous man.

“Zach, please…” She wanted understanding from him, but he wasn’t giving it to her.

“I cried for years for my mother,” he said, “but she never came back for me and my brothers. I don’t know why she left. I never will. But she made a choice to walk out on her kids and leave us behind.”

Why was he bringing up his mother? She struggled to understand his train of thought.

“You have choices as a mom, as well. I expected you to make the choice that was best for our son, but you didn’t.” His face was pained. She’d never seen him like this. “Today, I saw what sort of choice you’d make.”

He walked out of the kitchen without another word. A few seconds later, her front door slammed, and she was alone. She sagged into a chair, exhausted by their argument and his accusation. She had not forgotten or abandoned her son. She was not like his mother, who had left without a word or backward glance. It was Zach’s words from last night about how important she was to him and Austin that had prevented her from knocking on the door of that decrepit house.

Zach saw it all differently than she did, and he’d given her little chance to explain her actions. All her doubts from earlier about Zach’s willingness to be with her flooded back. She dropped her face in her hands and let the tears spill over.

15

At midnight, Carolyn pulled back the curtain in the living room to see Zach sitting in his car down the street. She’d gotten through the evening, smiling at Austin and pretending everything was fine. Daddy had to work, she’d told her son, but she assured him Daddy would be there the next day. She hoped that was true. Austin’s crestfallen face when he realized Zach wasn’t putting him to bed had nearly broken her already damaged heart.

She dialed Zach’s number and saw his phone screen light up in the dark vehicle. “Come inside, Zach,” she said without preamble. “There’s no reason for you to be sitting out there.”

“I’m fine where I’m at,” he insisted.

“Austin missed you.” She didn’t say that she’d missed having him across the dinner table, watching television with him in the evening, and snuggling next to him.

“I’ll stop in in the morning to see him.”

“Really, Zach?” She let her annoyance show in her voice.

“Get some sleep, Carolyn,” he said and clicked off.

Damn. She tossed her phone aside and went up to her lonely bed, but she didn’t sleep. The feeling of abandonment in her chest was too sharp, too familiar from her childhood experiences with her father and her previous experience with Zach. Maybe she’d been na?ve to think it was different now. Whatever she’d done in the past had never been enough to keep the men in her life from walking away from her.

Zach had seemed so committed this time, but perhaps not to her. He was committed to being a father to Austin, which she couldn’t fault him for. She’d felt, though, that a strong bond was forming between her and Zach. They were parents and lovers together. Ah, damn. She collapsed back on her pillow, forcing herself