“You look a little pale,” he notes. “Maybe you should rest.”
“I’ll rest when this is all over.”
He traces his fingers along the sliver of skin peeking out from the bottom of my shirt. “Gemma, you need to take care over yourself better.”
“I know I do,” I tell him, “but after I go find Aislin. I promised her I’d look for her if she wasn’t back by now.”
“I’ll go look for her.” He helps me stand but keeps a grip on my arm. “You go rest.”
“Alex, I—”
Poof.
Smoke swiftly fills the room, and in the center of the mist, Aislin appears. She looks fine except for a scratch on her cheek, and her hair is a mess.
“You made it.” I recline against Alex as the stress and tension evaporate from my body.
“Of course I did.” She wiggles her fingers in front of her. “And I got the power.” She pops her hip out and puts her hand on it. “So let’s get those wings off you . . .” Her jaw drops as her eyes land on Alana who’s now wide awake and standing, looking more coherent. “Mom?”
Alana tears up as she wraps an arm around Aislin. Then she grabs Alex with her free hand and pulls him in, too. I back away with the painful realization that I’ll never have this kind of moment with my mother. Even if I do see her again, she’s a ghost now, and I can’t even touch her.
I slowly turn to Nicholas. “You and I have a little problem.”
“Don’t we have more than one of those?” he asks cheerfully.
I jab a finger at him. “Where’s my mom?”
His silence sends a cold chill up my spine
“I’m not going to see her again, am I?” I can barely get air into my lungs.
He nods once. “I’m sorry.”
I don’t say a word—can’t—otherwise, I’ll lose it.
I leave the room, go up to my bedroom, and flop down on the bed. Rolling onto my side, I hug a pillow to my chest and let the tears pour out.
A minute or two later, someone knocks on my door. Before I can get up to answer, the door opens, and Laylen tentatively walks in.
“Are you okay?” he asks as he sits down on the edge of my bed.
“Yeah, I’m just being overemotional.” I laugh hollowly. “It’s kind of funny, isn’t it? All those years of being unemotional, and now I’m too emotional.”
“There’s no such thing as being too emotional when you lose someone you love.” He reaches out and rubs my back. “I remember when my parents died. It hurt so badly, and I didn’t know how to deal with the pain. I kept wishing for time to stop so I didn’t have to go through life without them. But life kept going, and after a while, all that hurt gnawing inside me became a little easier to bear. I won’t lie to you, though; it won’t ever fully go away.”
Tears bubble in my eyes again. “When does it get easier? How much time will it take?”
“As much as you need,” he says. Then he pulls me into his arms, and I cry against his shoulder.
I’ll never see my mother again. I’ll never get to know her. I’ll never have memories of her other than the horrible ones I have now.
She’s gone.
And I have to move on somehow.
But not yet.
Somehow, I fall asleep, and even though I can feel the weight of my mom’s death crushing my chest, my body actually feels ten times lighter.
I push up and glance over my shoulder to see the wings are no longer there.
“They’re gone.”
“Yeah, Aislin took them off while you were asleep,” Alex says, scaring the bejesus out of me. He’s lounging in my computer chair with his arms tucked behind his head. “Aislin thought it might cheer you up a little if you woke up and they were gone,” he explains, swiveling in the chair. “How are you doing?”
“Not great,” I admit, tucking my feet under me. “But I don’t think I’m supposed to be great.”
He shifts forward in the chair. “No, I don’t think you are.” He scoots forward more. “Gemma, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think we need to find another way to fix this. I know everyone says it has to be you, but there has to be another way. You’ve already given up so much of your life. You don’t need to give up more.”