Scars of Yesterday (Sons of Templar MC #8) - Anne Malcom Page 0,26
many fights, this one felt different. Scarier. The cracks that had emerged after we lost the baby had found their way into the foundation of us, damaging the entire structure of our relationship. Add to that the pressures everyone felt around the club. Things were escalating.
It was ugly of me to stand at Laurie’s funeral feeling grateful that it wasn’t my husband being buried, but that’s what I’d done. Truly, there was no use feeling grateful about anything because this wasn’t over. There would be more funerals, something told me that. It was in the way Ranger acted. The fact that we had increased security, that I had to text Ranger anytime me, Lily and Jack were leaving the house, and he had to know where we were at all times.
Yeah, things were bad with the club and bad with us.
So I was awake because I was afraid something had happened to him. Afraid something happened with him and one of the many women who offered an easy fuck without expecting anything in return.
The roar of his bike alerted me to his arrival, followed by a thump as he took off his boots at the front door. He didn’t come into our room immediately. Murmured voices carried to where I laid as he likely said goodbye to Lucky, who’d been watching Charmed in our living room.
The front door closed.
Lucky left.
Still no footsteps heading to our bedroom.
A clang of glasses and bottles told me what he was doing.
I should’ve stayed in bed. Should’ve squeezed my eyes shut and pretended to be asleep until he stumbled in here or until I woke up to an empty bed and my husband sleeping on the couch.
Instead, I pulled back the covers and got out of bed. I did not go for my robe or my slippers because I worried that would make me look like the cliché shrew of a wife. Then again, he was coming home late, reaching for the whisky bottle, so he was swimming in clichés too.
I checked on Jack first, placed my hand on his little chest, pulled up his covers and closed his door quietly. Then I did the same to our sleeping toddler. She had been a good sleeper since the beginning, and I was thankful for that now. I had a feeling this was going to get loud, and despite Jack being a heavy sleeper, I did not want his early memories being his parents screaming at each other.
Ranger was standing at the kitchen counter when I walked in. There was only a dim light on in the corner, cloaking him in shadow.
He knew I was there, but he didn’t look up. His shoulders were slumped. Everything about his posture screamed defeat. I sighed, forgetting my anger because my love for my husband would always trump that. My heart would always hurt seeing him look like this, knowing how much he carried on his shoulders.
He needed comfort. Our marriage needed repairing, sure, but nothing would get fixed if my first instinct was to give him anger instead of understanding.
I stopped abruptly when I got close enough to smell it. It was so strong that I thankfully didn’t need to get any closer to him for it to blanket my skin.
Perfume. Cheap. Fruity. Not the kind I wore, but definitely on brand for a woman who hung out at a biker club trying to fuck anyone in a cut.
The only reason I didn’t double over in pain was because I was pretty well versed in how to cope with it. I’d gone through childbirth. Losing a baby. Burying my best friend. I knew how to feel bone wrenching pain and still stand.
My hand was shaking when it found the light switch. He did not deserve to get to hide in the shadows and down whisky right now.
No, the mother fucker needed all the harsh light in the world to shine on him right now.
Still, he didn’t look at me. His gaze stayed firmly fixed on his glass of whisky.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t look at me either,” I whispered.
He picked up the glass and downed it, immediately pouring another. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
My blood boiled. “I don’t want you to say anything. I want my husband to come home not smelling like a whore. But then again, we obviously don’t all get what we want.”
He shuddered ever so slightly at my words but still didn’t look at me.