which makes escaping to Cole’s bedroom the easiest thing in the world. Keelie texted to check in. I know it’s what women do—even if not many have extended that gesture to me—and I appreciate her kindness.
Gracie, however, more than checked in. She can jabber on, that one. Even to my surprise, I found myself smiling during the marathon text thread we amassed. When she finally brought our conversation to an end because Jarvis had arrived home, I knew more about Gracie Cain than I ever expected to know, but not before she demanded I contact her should I find myself needing clothes, makeup, accessories, or pretty much anything else under the sun.
Then I had other things to keep me busy. I have contacts to keep up with. Leads I cannot allow to cool. And, most importantly, a certain senator to spy on. He is the reason I’m here, after all.
I’ve also decided I’m done with pain pills. I need my brain sharp and alert.
But I planned to be dead asleep at this point.
When Cole came home from work and interrogated me about my day, what I ate, what I did, if I was still hungry, and what I needed for tomorrow, it was surreal. Like so many times in the past, he changed clothes right in front of me as if this is what we do every day. Then he demanded I join him and his family for the evening.
Well. I’ve had about enough family time for one day. Of course, I didn’t tell him that.
I lied, said I wasn’t well, and needed to rest.
Once I assured him my stomach was plenty full and quiet time would be the only thing to heal me, he frowned and stormed out of his room.
That was hours ago.
Now, the bed dips behind me but doesn’t stop there.
Like a rerun of my favorite show, he plasters himself to my back and a hand grips my hip, pulling my weight to him. It’s not terribly late and Cole Carson does not need a full eight hours to be at the tip-top of his game. He’s never been an early to bed type unless there were sexual aerobics going down in the bedroom—or anywhere else we felt the urge.
I allow the heat from his body to creep into mine like the ghost of us that continues to haunt me.
I sigh.
He buries his face in my messy hair and inhales.
Neither of us utters a word.
There is no yin and yang when it comes to me and my American. We’re not opposite nor do we complement the other. We’re cut from the same cloth, and during our time together when we were at our best, we probably argued more than we didn’t. Cole is all alpha—headstrong and takes no prisoners in anything he does. And I’m no fool. I know my assets are feminine, but I also know how to use them in a man’s world, and as a bonus, can kick their arses if needed. As an operative, I’ve definitely had to. In the end, Cole respected that and he respected me.
Together, we were a force.
The best.
Even butting heads. I think that fire made everything else all the better.
But I knew we would never be more. From the beginning, I tripped over myself for him, knowing he had Abbott and she was his first priority. As Abbott grew older, he made the correct decision to return to Langley, to be a constant in her life.
He knew I wasn’t ready to hang up my hat. Then life went to shit and I had no choice but to go dark.
As he tortures me by running his hand up and down my thigh, like we’re something we’re not, I finally decide to break the silence because I need Cole’s help.
“I need something.”
His hand on me squeezes. “Look, if this is about today, I promise—”
I shake my head where I’m lying on his pillow and interrupt because there’s only one thing I want to talk about right now. “I need a ticket to a fundraiser. I’ll foot the bill, of course.”
The room goes so stale, the locusts singing outside seep through the thin walls. “Excuse me?”
“You hardly have a polite bone in your body, Cole. That excuse me did not come from the heart.”
“Okay, then. What the fuck?”
I sigh. “That’s more like it.”
“Fundraiser? To actually attend? In person?”
“Yes.”
“Well, blow my mind, Bella. Tell me why.”
“Because I care about … things. I want to attend.”