Cole and Penn Simmons are becoming fast friends. Crew supplied Penn a cell connected to the new secure satellite system and Penn’s family is extending their summer holiday here in the States. Penn has proven to have contacts far and wide across Europe—an impressive list even by my standards, which are sky high.
But it seems we’ve come to a standstill once again in the never-ending saga that has become our lives.
Because of that saga and Cole’s run-in with his boss, we have not left the refuge of Whitetail or Crew’s headquarters. Even though I’m accustomed to hiding out, Pakistan allowed me the camouflage to move around and still work. Under any other circumstances, being confined to two properties would suffocate me. I’m utterly flabbergasted I’m not drowning.
I don’t dislike children. I’ve simply never spent a great deal of time with them. I also wonder if it’s because she’s Cole’s and I would literally rip my own heart out for him, but I find his daughter exceptional on the scale of my tolerance of tiny humans in general. Spending time with her has been an honor rather than a sacrifice.
Which makes it even more devastating to see Abbott withdraw into herself, struggling to understand why people in her life, who are supposed to be a constant, suddenly leave her. Yes, she’s as sharp as a tack, but she is only six. Despite her mother being an imbecile, Abbott loves her. She might have taken to me recently, however I know for a fact she’d prefer her mother in a heartbeat. I’ve become a bit attached so, I can’t lie, that stings.
Now to have Red ripped from her life…
It’s distressing, especially for Cole, who wants to fix everything for everyone. It’s what he does—he solves and he fixes.
Then there’s the issue of condoms. What are they anyway? It seems neither Cole nor I can comprehend those pesky little buggers since I gave into his ideals of living happily ever after and all that jazz.
The man I cut off and wouldn’t allow to help me with anything—let alone the biggest thing—has consumed all of me. I deserve far less than his whole heart he’s given so freely. He might be the cockiest man I’ve ever met, but he’s mine. I suppose one can be arrogant when they always deliver in the end. I’m lucky he’s as persistent as he is bigheaded, otherwise I wouldn’t be here today wondering how I’ve become the woman who spends every waking minute wondering if she’s pregnant.
And I’m unexpectedly okay with it.
Shocking. Damn Cole Carson. He and his cocky-talking ways, making me believe I can have it all.
Since our time in the shower when my sole desire was to be a balm to Cole’s pain, there’s been plenty of sex with no mention of birth control. We spend our nights in the bedroom next to Abbott’s silencing ourselves for the sake of everyone else in the monstrous house. The dark circles under my eyes are proof enough I’m spending far more time wrapped up in Cole than I am sleeping. Thanks to Gracie and the miraculous concealer she bought me, I’m okay with this too.
“What would you like to wear tomorrow, love?”
Abbott and I are snuggled in with one of her new books, taking turns reading, to get her mind off our depressing reality. Addy and Crew are off somewhere in the big house, spending time as a family.
Her dark eyes find mine. “Do I have to wear a dress?”
“I shouldn’t speak for your father but I know him well enough that he only wants you to be comfortable and happy. Your grandpa would want the same. And speaking from one woman to another, never allow anyone to tell you how to look. You wear what you want and what you feel good in.”
“What about that one thing we bought with the big legs?”
“The romper? That would be a lovely choice and you’ll look as beautiful as ever.”
Tomorrow is Red’s funeral. It was pushed back a day to accommodate for security. Cole and I conferred with Crew and his men after Cole arrived home after his surprise meeting with his boss. Red’s service, which has not been announced publicly, will be private and small, and held at the tiny chapel where Cole’s mother was celebrated. We’re doing everything we can to avoid bombs, bullets, and bosses. It took an extra day to make those arrangements. I feel very comfortable with the security in place and