“Sir,” the doctor starts. So much fucking talking. Is one second too much to ask for? “We’d just finished one bypass when he arrested on the table—”
“Fuck,” I grit and look at the ceiling.
“Cole,” Bella whispers. The tone of her voice might as well seep through my skin and wind its way through my veins. I’m grateful for it. It’s how cemented she is within me. Right now she’s giving me life.
Life.
I level my eyes on the doctor. “He’s dead.”
His expression continues to tell the same story it has since he walked in the room. The details of it don’t matter.
“I’m very sorry. We did all we could.”
Chapter 36
A Second
Cole
I had to claw my way back when I almost lost Bella.
The days when she was touch-and-go, I was so fucking afraid. I was afraid to hope and afraid to plan and afraid to think about a future without her in it, and that’s saying something, because I’m not afraid of any damn thing. Even when she sent me away, I knew she was still on this earth, living and breathing. And as long as that was the case, there was hope.
I haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours. Abbott needed me. I had to deal with the hospital, a mortuary, phone calls—so many fucking phone calls—and then there’s work.
The Central-fucking-Intelligence Agency can kiss my ass right now. Nick Peterson has left me more messages than a scorned teenager after a public break-up at prom. I’m also currently popular with Security Special Investigations for going MIA.
Fuck them. I don’t have time for the police who police the police. I wouldn’t have been out of the country had my superiors not put a hit on an innocent man.
After I dealt with the hospital, I couldn’t get Bella and Abbott out of there fast enough. Bella can’t be in public right now and the last thing I wanted was for Abbott to be lingering around the building where her grandfather died.
We’re back on the secure grounds of Whitetail and I’ve never been more grateful. Abbott seemed to relax once we got back to her cat, Vivi, and the cows. She starts first grade soon. I have no roof. Bella is still hiding from every-fucking-one.
And I’m exhausted.
While Abbott was glued to me, Bella went to Crew’s camp and brought what few things we own in the world that aren’t burned to a crisp back to Crew and Addy’s. We’re taking over Red’s room to be close to Abbott. I’m not sure what happened to the day, it seemed to crawl; yet, in a blink, it was over.
Our first day without Red.
Done.
It was a fight, but I got Abbott to bed. Once I did, it didn’t take her long to pass out—she was emotionally tapped, trying to get used to the idea her best friend won’t be home to feed her dessert for breakfast.
The moment her door clicks shut on the second floor of the enormous farmhouse, Bella is waiting. She takes my hand and pulls me into our new bedroom and then to the bathroom that connects to Abbott’s.
The door shuts behind us and I hear the turn of the antique lock. She flips on the shower and through the mirror, I lose her face when she pulls her shirt over her head.
“What are you doing, sweetness?”
She doesn’t take her eyes off mine as she pushes her jeans to the floor and pops her bra. Before I know it, with her back to me, she’s standing the way I love her most.
Naked and present.
I turn her because looking at her secondhand through the mirror is too much separation. She doesn’t say a word as her fingers work the buttons of my shirt before pushing it over my shoulders and down my arms.
She runs her hands up my abs and pecs but I grab her chin and tilt her face to mine. “Bella.”
She pauses, which is a strange act for her. Bella and hesitation don’t play—or live—in the same realm.
Instead of answering, she pulls her chin from my fingers and presses her lips over my heart. I feel the drawstring on my scrubs go slack, and for the second time today, I’m standing in my boxers.
My greedy hands find her hips and travel up her body. That’s when she looks up. “I want to take away your pain—I want to take