as a farm. I wanted to travel the world, live in the biggest cities, dress like I was someone, and eat food that wasn’t fried in the same skillet, day in and day out.
I wanted the opposite life of my dad.
When my mom asked why I wanted to go all the way to the west coast, I did not bite my tongue or mince words—because that’s what douchecanoes do.
Despite my wanting a different life, I knew my parents were the best. They had to be to see past my assholeness and love me for the jackwagon I am.
I remember my mom looking up to me, since I was a foot taller than she was, laying a gentle hand on my stubbled cheek. “Go live your life, Cole. I hope you find what you’re looking for. But mark my words, someday this will come full circle. Until then, learn, enjoy your experiences, and see the world. You’ll be back and you’ll realize happiness is right here in the simple things. You’re so much like your father, it’s frightening. You see this life as settling, whereas we see it as what dreams are made of. Your dad’s been trying to tell you this for years. I love you, but I hope those dreams smack you in the face someday, because you deserve it.”
She was right.
Red was right.
If my dreams haven’t smacked me in the face lately, then I don’t want to know what I’m going through. I was too late to get more time with my mom. She was dead before I came home to be a dad to Abbott. But I did do everything I could to rectify my relationship with Red.
I can’t say it’s been an easy few years, but I wouldn’t trade them for the biggest and most covert cases around the world.
But I never knew that until this moment.
Jesse whipped up a small Homeland Security surveillance plane and I was back in BFE Virginia, a place I detested so much as a seventeen-year-old asshole.
I ignore the ache in my calf since my adrenaline burned through the local anesthetic in record time. I think the doctor prescribed me something for the pain but I have no idea where the script is, not that I would’ve taken the time to get it filled. Not after learning Red collapsed and was being rushed into surgery by the time I got the damn messages.
I’m barely off the plane and through the small building when I see Asa at the curb waiting on me.
I climb in and don’t bother greeting him. “What’s his status?”
Asa hits the gas the second my door slams. He shakes his head and I brace. “I don’t know. We’re not family. They wouldn’t give us an update after taking him to the OR.”
Five blockages—three of them at one hundred percent. Red likes his food fried and his beer cold. Doesn’t matter how hard I’ve tried to get him to eat some damn chicken without the skin on it, he won’t listen.
“Where are Bella and Abbott?”
He throws me a glance before merging onto the highway, heading west. “At the hospital.”
I drag my hand down my face. “Shit.”
“I know. I left Grady and Jarvis with them. Crew is on his way. None of us wanted her there but Abbott did not want to be separated from Red and Bella was determined to do whatever Abbott wanted. We couldn’t talk her into staying at Whitetail.”
“She’s hardheaded.”
“I got there before the paramedics. She was giving him CPR. Abbott saw the whole thing.” I have no clue how fast he’s going but we’re speeding past cars left and right. “Bella was doing everything she could.”
The image burns on my brain, the three people who matter most to me in the world. I would’ve been there had I only given Jesse the lead and let him run with it. I’ve gotten a taste of my old life as an operative in the last few weeks. That hit was like a jolt to my junkie soul. I didn’t think one stop in Vermont would be a big deal.
“How’s your leg?”
“It was only a graze. And how did you know?”
“I know everything.”
“I’m not in the mood, Hollingsworth.”
Asa shrugs. “I traced your phone though Bella’s and found you at the hospital. I called them to find you when you finally answered Bella’s messages. They told me you were the GSW victim.”