“Why is it that you’re not going to have any more children? You’re young, why not marry again and have a whole army of Alasdairs in your nursery.”
Ben stopped some feet from her, and the look on his face was one of horror. What was going on?
“I’ll not marry again. Ever. So, if ye wish to seduce me again, ye must ensure I release out of ye, you must remind me of my duty.”
Kenzie laughed, the sound mocking. “Seriously?” She stepped up to him, nose to nose. “If I seduce you again and you forget to pull yourself out before coming, I will be the last person on earth who’ll remind you of your duty,” she said, spitting the word at him. “And you needn’t worry that I’ll fall pregnant and make you marry me. You know full well I’m not staying and won’t tie ye down. The famous Black Ben can continue sowing his wild oats all over Scotland like you have been.”
He gaped at her, and Kenzie regretted her words immediately. She took a calming breath.
“I have my reasons for not wanting any more children, lass. I needn’t tell you or anyone what they are, and I dinna need ye judging me about my choices.”
Ben’s accent was thick as his temper grew, but damn it, they’d made a mistake. His absurd reaction to it wasn’t necessary. “Maybe I should return to Gwen and Braxton’s home and leave you be. But just a word of warning, Laird of Ross. Ye may wish to send Athol back home with her brother before you’re married off to her without ye consent.”
He ground his teeth, and she turned on her heel and made for the grove where the echoing sound of men and woodcutters could be heard. Ben clasped her arm, ripping her about to face him.
“Mayhap ye should.”
His words were like a slap across the face. Kenzie ripped her arm from his grasp and glared at him. “I’m going back to the castle. Don’t follow me.” She did as she threatened, blinking away the prick of tears as she made it back to her horse. What was Ben’s problem? His overreaction to what they’d done was irrational. It was almost as if he was terrified of her becoming pregnant.
She shook her head. Maybe when they’d calmed down, he would tell her his reasons, but until then, he needed to stay exactly where he was. Well away from her.
Chapter 12
Ben stood beside the largest bonfire that burned before the gates of Castle Ross. The flames towered into the sky, and he was pleased that this Beltane had been successful so far. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, all but one woman who sat on a stool, talking to Bruce. Kenzie was obviously not her bubbly, happy self. It was his fault, and he hated himself for it.
Yesterday, he’d acted like a brute, demanding she wash herself all because he’d lost control. Forced her to wash his seed away. Terrified that she would have his child.
Worse was the realization that the image of Kenzie round with his baby inside of her, left him both panicked yet with so much longing that for the last day he’d kept his distance from her. He’d come to realize that was exactly what he wanted.
Her…and everything I can have with her.
Tonight, he would explain his fear, and he hoped that it would be enough for her to forgive him his idiocy.
Athol sidled up beside him and clasped his arm, her breast rubbing indecently against his arm. He looked back at Kenzie and noted her narrowed glare aimed at him, before she turned toward Bruce and gave him her back.
He ground his teeth. Maddening woman!
“Would ye dance with me, Ben? Tonight, has been such a great celebration, but I dinna want it to be over without having one turn about the fire with ye.”
The clansmen surrounding him cheered him on, and conceding, Ben pulled her into a jig about the bonfire. With Athol in his arms, laughing up at him, he was almost transported back to last year’s Beltane. When Aline was alive, pregnant but still wanting to enjoy the festivities like everyone else.
Athol was so like her, but not so much in temperament. During the time Ben had been married to Aline, she had mellowed, grown kinder and more understanding of those about her. Athol had not. If anything, Ben had the impression the lass was spoiled and used to getting her own way.