then you’re crazy or have horrible comprehension skills! True hunger is not what is going on. It’s a craving, Yas. They desire something that you have, and only what you have will satiate them! It makes you special! Same as physical and sexual attraction! Same as what is going on right now. You are here because you want to be here. Because you know I have something you haven’t had before you met me – so are you going to allow me to do what I do best, teach women like you how to shut up and cum, or do you know every damned thing and wish to return to how things used to be since you have all the damn answers?!”
Her chest rose and fell hard. He could see he was breaking her down, getting her drunk on fear and intrigue. He imagined a part of her wanted to flee from this place, while another part wanted to curse him out.
“Look at me. Look right at me. What do you see?” he asked calmly.
She visibly swallowed then took a deep breath.
“A man with a robe on, but beneath it, he’s naked.”
“Okay. Good. And what does naked mean to you?” He slowly removed the robe the rest of the way, not missing how her eyes grew slightly larger as he did, casting the garment at his feet. The glow of the fire illuminated her features. She looked… perfect.
“It’s how we come into the world.”
He nodded.
“Good. What else?” He brought the cigar to his lips and leaned back.
“Vulnerability.”
He nodded and blew out smoke rings.
“You’re doing great. All right, two things real quick before we go any further.” He smashed the cigar into an ashtray on the coffee table. “I got your latest test results back, thank you.” She nodded. “I texted you mine. We’re both free and clear to do whatever we wish tonight without fear of contracting something or a pregnancy.” She nodded once more. “One more thing regarding that: please don’t stop taking your birth control pills without notifying me. If you miss a pill, let me know as soon as possible.”
“I will.”
“Cool. Did you bring your journal like I asked you to?”
“Yes, but you told me at the restaurant that you wouldn’t need to see it.”
“I don’t. But you do. Take it out of your purse, I’m assuming that’s where it is, and open it.” She hesitated for a spell, then followed his instructions. He could see from a distance she had a few sentences written down in it, but he didn’t try to make them out.
“All I need to know is, when you read whatever you wrote, was it a thought of hope, or fear?”
She glanced down at the book, ran her thumb along her lip, and shook her head.
“…I suppose if I have to choose between the two, fear.”
He could almost taste her anxiety. Framing his mouth with his thumb and forefinger, he ran them down his face as he contemplated her answer.
“Yasmine, why did you come over here?”
“You called me, said you wanted to see me. I debated on ghosting you again, just like I said earlier, but you intrigue me. Not only that, our conversation at lunch was profound. Everything in me tells me I shouldn’t be over here, even though you’re right. I’m here because I want to be.”
“Why shouldn’t you be here?”
“Because I have a bad history of falling for men that are bad for me.” He clasped his hands, listening. “You practically admitted that you didn’t want to commit to anyone. You told me I was different, but that’s what all men say when they want someone they know they can’t have. Men like you lie. Become who you think we as women want you to be just to get what you want, and some men are turned on by being rejected. You then give chase. As soon as we stop running, show mutual interest, you no longer find us fascinating. Then it’s all over, and you don’t care what you’ve done, as long as you’ve had your fun. Isn’t that you, Nix? Isn’t that who you are?”
“Sometimes.” They glared at one another. “But, here’s the thing. I can grow. You can grow. People can transform with the right motivation. I’m like a plant. So are you. I need to be watered. I need sun. Even a Venus’ Fly Trap such as me can be particular about who I turn into a meal. Not everyone is on the menu.”