The Satyr - Tiana Laveen Page 0,28

you can with the right motivation, I am determined to try this dating shit again. I hate dating. I’d sworn off it.” He flopped back in his chair. “Okay. Now, do you have any questions?”

You bastard.

“You are a real piece of work, you know that?! Why would I want to date someone so disrespectful? How we met aside?”

“I just say what’s on my mind. You want to date a liar or someone who tells it like it is?” His shoulder drooped a bit as he crossed his arms. “A lot of people wouldn’t have the nerve to say what I just did. But they’re thinking it. Sometimes I go too far I guess.” He shrugged again.

“Ya think?!”

“If I embarrassed you in some way by asking you to pipe down so I could present my case and answer your questions, then I guess I’m sorry. I told you from the get-go that you talk too much. Listening is just as important as speaking. You go overboard when you’re nervous.”

He is right. Again.

“You’re too much. Anyway, why had you sworn off dating?”

“It’s fake.”

“Dating is a way to get to know a person.”

“Yeah, so how is that effective when nobody tells the truth? They’re putting their best foot forward, putting on airs, tryna show off and be someone they are not just to get some pussy, some dick, some food, some rent money, a car, commitment, whatever. It’s a bunch of malarkey. Cockamamie bullshit.”

“You sound so negative! How can someone who reads inspirational quotes, self-written notwithstanding, say something like that?”

“Because it’s true. Let me give you an example. No one says when they first meet someone, ‘Hey, you son of a bitch, I know you find me attractive, but you should know I’m insecure as fuck. I chose you because even though I’m outta your league, you’ve got a strange blinkin’ problem that makes people uncomfortable and that makes you insecure, too so I can exploit that to my advantage. Oh, and uh, I snort coke every now and again, too. I’m sexually aroused by flatulence and I also hate my deadbeat father who lost our house due to gambling debts when I was a kid – so now anyone Black or is named Jack, I hate on sight. I lost my last job working at this one hospital for infectious diseases because I was caught watchin’ porn on the computer then punched my boss in the nose when she confronted me about it. Now I have a criminal record due to assault and battery. I’m a fuckin’ prize. Let’s go out again!’” She stifled a laugh, refusing to let the bastard know she was heavily amused. “When have you seen a dating profile like that, huh? A truthful one? Down to the final, nitty gritty detail.”

“Like that? Never.”

“Right, Yasmine, because that’s the truth, and no one likes the truth. It would save a lot of sorting and vetting time, too. People always say, ‘Tell me the truth! Tell me the truth! Most really don’t want it though. It makes them feel bad, it makes them uncomfortable. Many people can’t handle the truth, and that’s bullshit. Traditional dating in our American culture is bullshit because it’s built on lies. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, get married, fuck, have kids, live happily ever after. Fuck all of that. What about all that shit in between? Don’t give me just the bread; I want the whole sandwich. That’s not real life. That’s not how this shit works.”

He makes a decent point…

“I want to see the dirt, Yasmine. The grime and grit of a woman I am trying to tame and claim. I want to see and feel the draining slobber pooling out of her mouth as she chokes on my dick and my mind.” She sat straighter in her seat, convinced the man was insane by how he was able to seamlessly turn a discussion from serious, to comical, to sexual in a nano-second. “…The mental vomit of the purge. The disgusting beauty of completing and compelling someone to not put their best foot forward, but walk in their truth. To truly be in love, you have to know about their filth… the underbelly of their thoughts. I need to see her crawl and grovel before she walks up to me…” She swallowed, hating how turned on she felt as he said the horrid words and bore into her soul with those haunting eyes. “I want to feel the tears of desire and

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