She realized now, after months of dating him, that when he acted so, he was working through the statement… extracting from it, breaking the words apart. He was like that, a decoder of sorts. That aspect of him always intrigued her. She’d even watched him in court one day, in secret, and he’d had no idea she’d been there.
He’d been brilliant.
“Mr. Riser… instead of Camden? You’re referring to him as Mr. Riser now. That means you’re on the warpath. Good,” he stated sternly, making her chuckle. He slipped his hand from hers and cracked his knuckles, then dropped to his knees. “You know, I hate hospitals, funerals, and graves. I did this for you.”
“Thank you for thinking to do this.”
“I don’t like them not because they’re macabre. I don’t like them because I have been to so many, Yasmine, that I have become desensitized. So, I am reminded of the desensitization when I see people filled with emotion, crying, and I am just standing there, daydreaming or planning what I will be doing the next day. It seems inappropriate. I don’t like how it makes me feel… like something is wrong with me. I already struggled with this sort of thing, and now, it’s only gotten worse.”
“Nixon, we all become numbed after a while. We must, in order to survive our jobs.”
He nodded in agreement.
“I see everything though, no matter how big or small, on a scale comparable to life or death. Falling in love – that’s life.” Her heart beat faster within her. “It gives a person yet another reason to wake up in the morning. A divorce? That’s death. Eating lunch – life. Illness – the body fighting something destructive, to prevent death. Even in our careers, baby, it’s life or death. When someone threatens your position, something you worked so hard to obtain, they warrant a form of death, so you can continue your life. You have to cut that shit out at the root.” His dark blue eyes were icy, lifeless, haunting. She knew exactly what he was getting at. He was encouraging her to fix this situation, to get what she rightfully deserved.
“He’s not getting away with this.”
“Oh, trust me.” He laughed mirthlessly. He got back to his feet and crossed his arms. “I know that. Death can come all kinds of ways. It can come as loss of their career. It can come as, hell, I don’t know…” he shrugged, “someone who loves the hell outta of you, digging deep to help you dress in the best damn armor before you go out to the frontline of your warzone.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, looking deeply into her eyes. “When you get back to your office, you’ll find a series of emails. Click on them, follow the directions. I didn’t pull the trigger… I wanted to wait until things got to critical mass. Read the information I sent and use them as part of your attack.”
“Nixon, you’re confusing me… what are you talking about?”
He turned to face her.
“I know all about Terrell Davis and Camden Riser. They have a long history. He didn’t just show up out of the blue. Your boss, Terrell, isn’t a horrible person, but he was bent over a barrel and didn’t have the backbone to stand up to this guy. Camden? That’s another story. He was fired from Steinberg and Fairman but they agreed to have it look as if he left willingly. Basically, two clients sued the firm because of some shady shit he’d done. He wanted back in, so he called on a favor from Terrell. He’s been riding a silver spoon. People keep turning the other way.”
“I honestly don’t understand how he even survived law school.” She sucked in air, trying to not explode.
“Read the emails to find out the rest, but, uh, Camden is so fuckin’ filthy, so crooked, Yasmine, that I needed a long, hot shower after researching his history.”
“I’ve dug up dirt on him, too.” She smirked, then laughed. They both stared at Tamia’s grave, hands linked again.
“I know you have. The difference though, my White privilege, as you call it, and I accept that is what it is, allows me to get to places and people you wouldn’t be able to get close to. I used it to help my woman. I used it like a fuckin’ credit card, and got shit that isn’t even on record, but is on file in private places no one is