noticed too, though. It wasn’t a big deal to me. People like what they like,” he said dismissively. “I don’t give uh shit what color Yasmine is. Hey! I got ’er name right!” They both burst out laughing then. “As long as she makes my son happy, and she treats him the way he should be treated, she’s got my vote.” After a pause, he added, arching a brow, “Is she a Christian?”
“Dad, don’t start…”
“What?! What is the big deal!”
“Why don’t you ask your own damn wife if is she is a Christian?” Dad’s complexion deepened. “Or your friends, namely Marcus! The fuckin’ heroin addict!”
“Crack… it was crack,” Dad said meekly. “And leave my fucking wife outta this, you disrespectful prick! I don’t give uh shit how old ya are, and that martial arts shit you do, I am a fuckin’ Marine and I will crush you like a grape!”
Nixon grimaced.
“Heroin, crack, ’shrooms, Ecstasy, PCP, LSD, crank, meth, who gives uh fuck. Marcus is a crackhead who takes advantage of you, takes your money, and you keep fucking with him because you were in the Marines with him and feel like ya owe him something. Only because he helped ya out one time and you’re lonely. Give him a fuckin’ religious survey, why don’t ya?”
“You’re one to talk! Leo says you still smoke marijuana! The Mary Jane! Grass!”
“The Mary Jane? Grass? Wow! Nice antiquated touch! Welcome to 1972!” Nixon chuckled. “Ya damn right I do, and it’s not illegal.”
“Neither is fuckin’ a pig in the ass in some countries, but that doesn’t mean you should do it!” Dad barked.
“I have a joint sometimes over the weekend. It calms me down, relaxes me; you can’t compare that to smoking crack. I don’t have to have it. I just enjoy it from time to time. That’s not my drug of choice.”
“What is your drug of choice then? Alcohol, like me?! We all have one, Nix. You’re no better than anyone else, though you pretend to be! So spill it! What have you been doing?”
“You want to know my drug of choice, Dad? Traveling. Learning new shit. Sex. Financial security. Those are my fuckin’ drugs of choice. Oh, I forgot one,” He held up his finger. “Winning cases! ’Cause ya damn right I’m a good attorney, just like you told Yasmine tonight. I’m fucking great at what I do. One of the best in town. My whole point is, before you tried to make this shit about weed, you need to be looking at your own life and who’s in it!”
“Why in the hell do you always do this, Nix?”
“Do what?”
“Shut me out? You find something I say that you don’t like and blow up to end the conversation. You use it as an exit when you decide you wanna shut down again. As soon as I get close to ya, this happens. You say you didn’t want me staying here because we’d argue. Ya put me in a fancy hotel, you try to spend a few hours with me, and as soon as things don’t go your way, BOOM! You start a fire and walk out. Yeah, God is important to me and I’m not apologizing for it! My life doesn’t match my heart! I’m not perfect. Sue me, lawyer son of mine! And you need to cut Marcus some slack. He’s your godfather, for God’s sake. Marcus has had addiction problems most of his miserable life. The bastard is trying. He’s a mess, he knows it, Nix, but he is thinking about going into rehab again.”
“I won’t lay off him until he lays off you and stops askin’ you for money so that he can go and get high.”
“He has a job now.” Dad’s face flushed in frustration.
“I’m almost afraid to ask.” Nixon sucked his teeth. “Doing what?”
“He, uh, he does movies…”
“So, he does porn. Marcus does porn.” Nixon sighed. “You really expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true! I’ve seen it! It’s like a whole subculture!” Dad stretched out his arms, his eyes wide. “‘Crack of the Bubble Ass, Vol.1,’ ‘Rock the Cock,’ ‘Pipe Piper,’ and ‘Dope Dick,’ just to name a few titles!” Nixon sat there trying his damnedest to not burst out laughing. “He even has sex with other crackheads and sells the videos online! It’s a thing, ya know. Makes decent money, too!”
“Crackhead sex is a porn niche? Hmm, interesting. I had no idea.” Nixon was genuinely intrigued. “I should Google it, find out more.”