“Well,” Nixon whipped out a chrome lighter and lit both of their cigars. It felt a bit ceremonial: two men, two generations, two sets of tension… “These cigars are the absolute best, hands down, Dad. This particular brand came out in 2008. A limited release. I made sure I stocked up on them because they are my absolute favorite. If you like it, I’ll send you some.”
Dad nodded and followed him into the eating area.
“This is obviously my kitchen… not sure I need to explain anything, but since I know you’re interested in gadgets, this is an electronic refrigerator.” He pointed to it.
“You got that Alexa shit?”
“Yeah. Alexa saves me time. Over here is a nice sink with a pretty neat garbage disposal.” His father moseyed over to check it out. “There’s a built-in odor trap. All I have to do is pour this liquid down in there a couple times a month and it smells good as new. You know how they can get gunky sometimes, start stinkin’ up the place.”
Dad wrapped his hands around the silver edge of the basin and looked down into the sinks, as if they were twin wishing wells. Nixon caught their reflections in the faucet. They favored one another, though Nixon felt he was a good blend of both his parents’ looks. He turned on the valve to show his father the flow, then tinkered with the dials. The man was into things like that. Electronics, household appliances, and the like. “See? This controls flow, this helps the water get hotter quicker, this right here adjusts the pressure… Nice shit.”
“This is cool, Nix!” Dad chuckled, clearly entertained. “I like it. Let me see the rest of this great place.”
Nixon turned off the water and they made their way down the hall.
“Dining room.” His father peered at a large open room that was done in rich earth tones. Large plants sat in two corners and a huge stained-glass window was the main attraction. Nixon’s pride and joy. The twelve-seater table had a sizeable dried flower display at the center and ivory place settings, with crystal goblets. On one wall hung an enormous, ornate painting of a beautiful Geisha sitting on the lap of a fierce-faced Japanese warrior. One of her milky white breasts spilled out, exposing a rose-colored nipple, and her legs were wide open, allowing the warrior to dip his fingers inside her vagina. Dad’s gaze landed on it… and stayed there for a long ass time.
“Interestin’ painting.” The old man scratched his jaw, his eyes wide, then he squinted as if trying to ascertain if he was really seeing what he was seeing.
“Yeah, I got it about five years ago. The artist is well known in San Francisco. Jaqui is his name. I attended an art show there, had travelled in on business and stayed for a few days. I bought it and had it shipped back home.”
“Hmmm. Was it expensive?”
“Very.” They headed further down the hall. “This is the study. My office is right next to it.” Dad did not even try and disguise his nosiness. He set about opening desk drawers and flipping through a couple folders. He then plucked a heavy, leather-bound book off a shelf, an ancient Greek Law book that Nixon had picked up from an auction. He perused it for a few seconds, then placed it back, upside down. They left that area and kept going, pausing near the three bedrooms. Nixon opened the door to the smallest one. The window had sheer blue drapes, each wall was a different shade of blue, and the floor, though marble, had a long blue rug in front of the bed. The art on the walls hung in blue frames, all of them featuring naked blue-skinned mermaids or serene seascenes.
“This looks like a showroom place, somethin’ outta Ikea. I could move right in here and you’d never hear a peep outta me.”
“First of all, you and I will never live together again, or I can assure you there would eventually be a homicide. Secondly, that’s an insult. Ikea fuckin’ sucks.”
“Ohhh! So sorry, your fuckin’ highness.” Dad said, doing jazz hands. “I do apologize, Mr. Duke of Earl and Fine Tastes of gold, ’nd diamond bullshit!” Nixon shook his head and laughed. “Do you keep it like this or do you have somebody come over and fix it up this way? I never really took you for an interior decorator. Your room used to always be a mess.”