in her wake. Lying still, she moved her numb mouth.
“...end it...” she mumbled, and tried to smile through her split lips.
“Here comes the big one,” Michael said, and he grabbed Mary by the scruff of her neck and lifted her up off the floor, dangling her in the air like a sack of old laundry. He drew back one of his massive, sledgehammer fists, ready to drive it into her face. Nero looked away.
“Repent, sinner!” Michael cried.
Suddenly he was dancing from foot to foot. He craned his neck, looking at his feet, dropping Mary to the ground. Slowly, she dragged her broken body to safety and then looked back. There was a beige and brown blur on the floor zipping between Michael’s legs. Michael was squealing as if something was nipping at his ankles. The crowd rustled as everyone strained to get a better look. On principle, several hundred angels began to boo.
Mary hauled herself up by the ropes. The blur was coming at her and then it screeched to a stop and she saw Delilah, Charo’s Chihuahua, standing between she and Michael. Delilah’s needle-like teeth were barred, a tiny soprano growl vibrated in its throat. Michael stared at it, dumbfounded. This animal was small, but it was clearly possessed. Something resembling hope spread its wings in Mary’s chest.
And then Michael kicked Delilah so hard the tiny beast went sailing out of the ring in a perfect arc, heading towards the top tier seats.
“Yiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppp...” it dopplered.
The crowd went wild.
“Do unto others!” They chanted. “Do unto others!”
“Now do you comprehend the forces you have unleashed?” Michael said, turning his attention once more to Mary. He drew himself up until he was massive and unstoppable. He snapped his wings open to their full, fifteen-foot span and they blotted out the lights. He spread his feathers and they got even bigger, the tips of his primaries brushing against the floor of the ring. He advanced on Mary who tried to ward him off with wild swings. Michael easily swatted aside her feeble blows, and then he seized her by the collar and the belt. He lifted her up above his head and then he dropped down onto one knee, slamming Mary’s back across the other. Her spine bent itself into a backwards “C” and she screamed in agony. Casually, Michael threw her to the ground and walked away. He pumped his fists, working the crowd up into a frenzy.
Mary was nothing more than a bag of pain now. How had she come to this? Through her swollen eyes she saw Michael stand on the ropes and rile up the crowd.
“Yeah!” he shouted. “Yeeeaaahhh.”
That was how she came to this, Mary realized. That was how she always came to this. She had wanted nothing more than to live a good life and be left alone in peace and quiet and then came the assholes with their big plans and their perverted conspiracies and their hidden agendas and suddenly she was a pawn in their machinations. How had she come to this? It was the assholes. It was always the assholes.
Wracked with pain, she slowly sat up. Michael caught the movement out of the corner of his eye and he hopped down off the ropes.
“You want more?” he asked. And then to the crowd. “Does she want more??!?!?”
They roared back at him.
Mary pulled her lips back to show her teeth, smeared with blood. Her whole face hurt. Her pupils were dilated to two different sizes but she turned them on Michael, and then she raised one broken middle finger.
“Assholes...like you...make me glad...I quit...the church...”
Michael’s face turned dangerous. He ran at her and leapt into the air with both feet outstretched, perfectly positioned to take her head off of her shoulders with the soles of his boots. The crowd exploded into cheers, sounding like a bag of rocks being violently shaken. They had come for blood and they were going to get it. Michael was thrilled. He had never kicked anyone’s head off before. This was going to be one of those rare new experiences for him. His body sailed through the air like a missile...
...and came crashing down. A searing pain ran through his left wing. He rolled over and looked back. Standing behind him, with one foot mashing his primary feathers to the mat, stood Satan.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “I had some business to take care of.”
Michael scrambled to get back on his feet and untangle himself from his overextended left wing. Feathers