on the glass wall facing the hallway. Then I collapsed in the chair, put my hands over my face, and cried.
I wished I could take it back. I wished I could rewind today or wake up and realize I’d had a nightmare. It felt like a sharp shard was inside me trying to cut its way out. It hurt so much.
The little black dog stood on her hind legs, put her front paws on my knee, and wagged her tail. I petted her shaggy head. The tears kept coming. I just couldn’t stop.
My phone rang. Bug. I answered and hit the speaker icon.
“Hey,” he said. “Your grandma and your sister made it to Keystone okay, got the Guardians, and are heading back. Arabella made a slight detour, so I thought I’d tell you so you don’t freak out.”
“That’s great,” I choked out. My voice sounded strained and sharp.
“I detect some hostility,” Bug said. “Is everything okay?”
“It’s great.”
“Catalina, where are you? What’s wrong?”
“I killed three people.” I was trying to keep it together, but saying it out loud proved too much. The sobs broke through.
“What people? Where?”
“At Keystone Mall. Actually, I killed ten people, three myself and seven through people I beguiled. Ten people, Bug. They can never go home. They had families . . .”
“It’s okay.” Bug’s voice turned soothing. “It’s okay. Why were you at the mall?”
“Things didn’t go well after Diatheke. I picked up a tail, took them to the mall, and killed them.”
“The crew from the Guardians?” Bug guessed.
“Yes.”
“Catalina, they followed you to the mall. You didn’t chase them down. They could’ve walked away at any point. Those fuckers made a deliberate choice to hunt you down instead. It was you or them. Listen to me. You didn’t do anything wrong. You killed ten bad people.”
The rational part of me knew he was right, but it didn’t make me feel any better. I took ten lives.
“If you hadn’t killed them, they would have killed you and then tomorrow or next week, they would have killed someone else. Talk to me. Are you there?”
“Yes. I just can’t stop crying.”
“It’s adrenaline overload. Listen to me, listen to my voice: they were wrong, you were right. People who ride around in Guardians so they can hunt down a lone woman in an abandoned mall don’t deserve mercy. They’re the worst kind of assholes. The world can use less assholes.”
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “I’m better,” I told him. “I’ve got it.”
“Good, because your sister just passed the security checkpoint.”
I grabbed a handful of tissues and wiped my face.
“Bug?”
“Yes?”
“Please don’t tell anybody.”
“I won’t,” he promised. “She’s at the front door.”
I jumped up, opened the shades, unlocked the door, and sat back at my desk. The front door swung open. There was a grunt. The door swung shut. Arabella staggered down the hallway and into my office carrying an armload of stuff and dumped it on the floor.
“What’s this?” I asked. My face was red, my eyes bloodshot, and we both pretended they weren’t.
She sat on the floor and dug through the bags, raising each item like she was auctioning it off. “Dog food bowl, water bowl, collar, leash, dog food; goes in the bowl, puppy pads; go on the floor, special cleaner with enzymes to clean up messes, chewy toys, an almost life-like squirrel, a rubber hamburger, little tennis balls, a blankie, a dog pillow, special dog shampoo, and a grooming brush.”
Wow.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“How did you know what to get?”
“I asked Matilda.”
The little dog trotted over to the pile of loot and bit the rubber hamburger. It squeaked. The dog dropped the hamburger and dashed under my desk.
“A paragon of bravery,” Arabella observed.
“She’s been through a lot. Why the sudden attack of kindness?” I asked.
She got up off the floor and hugged me. We almost never hugged anymore.
Arabella headed to the door.
“Hey,” I called.
She turned back to me.
I lowered my voice. “Sergeant Heart has a thing for Mom.”
She blinked, then her eyes went wide. “How do you know?”
“She Skyped with him and he told her that all she had to do was let him know that she needed him. And she said, ‘Benjiro, I need you,’ and then he got terribly excited that she knew his first name.”
“He has a first name?”
“Don’t say anything,” I warned.
“I won’t.”
“I mean it. He’s coming here tomorrow night.”
“What, like a date?”
“No.” I waved my hand. “He and his team are coming to replace Abarca.”
Arabella sagged against the door frame. “Don’t scare