The Sapphire Child (The Raj Hotel #2) - Janet MacLeod Trotter Page 0,86
absence from her voluntary work with the WAC and said a tearful goodbye to baby Charles, who was now toddling about and shrieking her name on sight: ‘Ste-wa! Ste-wa!’
She had hoped that Hugh would get to Rawalpindi in early May before she left for Kashmir, but he wired her to say that he was being sent to Bangalore. Pining for him, she wrote expressing her wish that he might take some leave and try and get to Gulmarg to see her.
To Stella’s dismay, she watched Tom’s nerves continue to deteriorate with the worsening news from Europe. Yugoslavia had fallen to the Nazis, who had pushed on into Greece and the swastika was now flying in Athens. In early June they heard that the last troops on Crete had been evacuated by the Navy to Egypt, with heavy losses.
Esmie confided in Stella. ‘However much I reassure him that Andrew is relatively safe in Scotland – that he hasn’t been deployed to North Africa – Tom won’t be consoled. He just goes on and on about the destruction from the bombings and the loss of civilians. I really think the only thing that would ease his mind was if Andrew came back to India and he saw for himself that his son was safe and well.’
‘But that’s not likely till after the war is over,’ Stella pointed out. She kept to herself the concern that even then, Andrew might choose not to rush back. He appeared very settled in Scotland and had a girlfriend there.
Esmie said, ‘I can’t bear to think that Andy might never come back home – I think that’s what’s at the core of Tom’s anxiety too. He feels terrible guilt about it – that somehow we pushed him away.’
‘That’s not true,’ Stella said. ‘You gave him a loving home here. It’s Lydia who’s to blame for turning him against you both. She was never going to let him go once he was back with her.’
‘That’s not how Tom sees it.’ Esmie’s voice was full of sadness. ‘He feels that he was forced to give Andrew up as the only way of being able to marry me. I can’t deny it’s put a strain on our marriage – we both feel guilty for choosing to be with each other.’
Stella was aghast. Long ago, she had thought that Tom and Esmie were the epitome of a love match that nothing could break. But she saw how the strain of long years of not being able to marry properly and then their pretence at being married must have taken its toll. Even when Lydia had finally given Tom a divorce, it had been a hollow victory. By gaining marriage they had lost what they loved most: Andrew.
‘I feel selfish for marrying Tom, knowing how important Andrew is to him,’ Esmie agonised. ‘I, of all people, knew what he’d gone through losing his first wife and baby daughter – how fragile his mental health was because of it. If we’d never married . . .’
‘Don’t say that,’ Stella remonstrated. ‘Mr Lomax wouldn’t have survived without you. You’ve done more than anyone to help him battle his demons – and to bring up Andrew till he was thirteen years old. Andrew is the loving man he is because of the home you gave him and the example of what it is to love unconditionally.’
Esmie’s grey eyes filled with tears. ‘Stella, you are a kind lassie.’
‘It’s not kindness, it’s the truth,’ Stella insisted. ‘And I can’t believe you and Mr Lomax won’t get through this bad patch. Everyone is worried about this war. But when it’s over – God willing all our loved ones come through it – you could go to Scotland to visit Andy.’
Esmie nodded. ‘You’re right; we must stay optimistic.’
‘Yes,’ Stella urged, ‘give Mr Lomax something to hope for.’
Esmie smiled, encouraged. ‘You would make a wonderful nurse.’
In June, unexpectedly, a wire came from Hugh saying he had a week’s leave and was coming to Gulmarg. Stella was overjoyed at the news.
‘I haven’t seen him for over two months,’ she said eagerly to Esmie and Tom.
‘Then you must take some time off from the hotel and spend it with him,’ Esmie declared. ‘Don’t you think so, Tom?’
Fleetingly, a smile lit his gaunt and lined face. ‘Of course she must,’ he agreed. ‘It’s time we met this man who causes our Stella such excitement. He must be special.’
Stella grinned, gladdened to see a spark of the old teasing Tom. ‘He is,’ she said.