The Sapphire Child (The Raj Hotel #2) - Janet MacLeod Trotter Page 0,161

dreamt of for years and yet as soon as it had happened, they had both sprung apart as if they knew it shouldn’t have. Within seconds he was feeling remorse and she was reminding him about his fiancée – apologising – which had just compounded his feeling of guilt towards Felicity.

At the same time, he’d wanted to tell Stella how he felt about her and how he knew he should regret what he’d just done, but didn’t. She hadn’t allowed him to speak and had fled. Nothing he’d done with Felicity had ever affected him in the way that brief embrace with Stella had.

All the way back to Chota Nagpur, Andrew had agonised over what to do. Did it mean that Stella really loved him too? Not just in the way of good friends but with physical desire, like he did? He had been on the point of writing to her several times to make his feelings plain and then she had written to him. Her words had been devastating – she’d regretted the kiss, and didn’t want to come between him and Felicity.

It had filled Andrew with renewed shame over his fiancée and he’d buried his feelings for Stella by writing a long letter to Felicity instead. He was still mortified that it was Stella who had reminded him of the right thing to do. When the war was over, and if he came through it unscathed, he would return to Scotland and pick up his old life there.

‘Penny for your thoughts, Lomax?’ John interrupted his tortured pondering. ‘You’re not going to the gallows yet.’

Andrew gave a wry smile and stubbed out his cigarette. ‘I’m just thinking what an idiot I’ve been.’

John gave an enquiring look. ‘Anything in particular?’

Andrew took off his bush hat and rubbed his temples. ‘Over women.’

‘Ah,’ John said, sitting down beside him. ‘Is this anything to do with the lovely Miss Dubois?’

Andrew shot him a look. ‘How did you know?’

‘Because you’ve been pining ever since we left Mussoorie, Lomax.’ John clapped a hand on his shoulder. ‘And that Christmas card Stella sent you is falling apart from being read so much. Besides, you never talk about your fiancée in Scotland any more. It’s obvious to me who you’re in love with.’

‘But Felicity. I feel so guilty . . .’

‘When was the last time she wrote to you?’ John pointed out.

‘She’s never been great at letter-writing – neither of us has. That’s not a good excuse for letting her down.’

John said, ‘We’re on the eve of battle. It might all be academic in a few days’ time. But for what it’s worth, I’d write to Stella and tell her how you really feel. Write to the fiancée too.’ His look turned grim. ‘Write to them both while you can.’

Before the sun set that evening, Andrew wrote a letter to Stella. For months he had been torn by mixed feelings, but once he finally put pen to paper, he found what he had to say came easily.

As night fell and they bunkered down, alert to attack under cover of darkness, Andrew gave the letter to John.

‘Grant,’ he said. ‘If anything happens to me and I don’t make it through, will you make sure Stella gets this, please?’

John gave him a long enquiring look. ‘Don’t you want to send it anyway?’

Andrew shook his head. ‘I don’t want to force anything on her that she doesn’t want. If I survive, then I must pluck up the courage to tell her in person.’

‘Of course, Lomax.’ John nodded and, taking the letter, put it safely in his leather attaché case.

Chapter 57

Sinzweya (‘Admin Box’), Burma, 6th February 1944

That day, the Borderers fought their way over the Ngakyedauk Pass – the ‘Okeydoke’ pass as the Tommies and Jocks had soon named it – to arrive at Sinzweya, the hastily defended administration area at the east end of the pass. With characteristic speed and stealth, the Japanese had slipped through the front lines of XV Corps’ forward divisions, encircled them and routed the headquarters of 7th Indian Division. Everyone had been taken by surprise.

After the Allies’ successful capture of the small port of Maungdaw in January, Andrew’s platoon of Borderers had been protecting the doggedly courageous Indian sappers from sniper fire as they’d blasted and widened the pass. But suddenly, the attack they had been expecting from the enemy had come from the north and west – the opposite direction from where the Japanese army lay – and also over the Mayu Range by