From Sanctum with Love (Masters and Mercenaries #10) - Lexi Blake Page 0,141

there wasn’t a Santa, but she liked to pretend.”

Now that he looked past his own issues it was easy to see that there were a hundred times when Jared could have lost control. “She cried that night. She told me it would have been easier if you’d thrown a fit. If you acted like a brat she could have held it together.”

“She told you all that? I shouldn’t be surprised. You were her partner. After Dad left, she turned to you. That wasn’t fair.”

Something lifted deep inside him, some stupid piece of him that needed acknowledgement. Some selfish piece left over from childhood. He hadn’t realized it, but there had been some small part of him that required that Jared know what he’d sacrificed. The minute he had what he needed, he realized the truth. “Life wasn’t fair to any of us. I’m so sorry. I should have stayed. I should have kicked your ass and sat down and figured out what was going on because my brother wouldn’t have done that to me if he’d been in his right mind.”

It seemed to Kai that there was an awful lot about his brother that Jared had hidden. Had he hidden those things because he’d been ashamed? Because he’d been desperate for Kai to accept him?

“I never once in all of this believed that you could have hurt those women. Not for one second. I kept it from you because there’s more at stake than you and me and I have to beg you to understand that I can’t talk about it. Not because I don’t trust you, but because I made a promise. I’m going to make another one. I’m going to stop being an arrogant, unforgiving asshole and start being your big brother. So listen up. You will get in that truck with me and Case and you’ll go home with me. You will accept Harrison as your lawyer and you and I are going to fight this with everything we have. You will not give up. Not on yourself and not on the career you’ve built. They can’t hold us down. Not if we go into this together.”

He’d been so stupid. He’d been foolish and hurt and selfish and he’d wasted so much damn time. He’d wasted time with Jared and he’d wasted time with Kori. He should have wrapped her up in his arms the minute he’d met her. He should have pulled her close and thanked god he’d finally found her.

He should have thanked god he hadn’t been alone anymore. He should have figured out that he’d never been alone. Not really.

He moved in and faced his brother. He was so fucking intellectual. It had been his refuge, a way for him to rise above the misery he’d been born into, but now he could see it had been a wall, too. His childhood hadn’t been all misery. It had simply been easier to see it that way because losing his mother had been so painful. He’d lumped Jared in with that loss and walked away. He’d held everyone off until one little brat had wormed her way into his soul, and now he couldn’t hold back a second more. Kori was in his heart, and his heart suddenly seemed like such a massive, open thing, full and yet wanting more.

He put his arms around his brother and hugged him close.

This, this was what he should have done that day. He should have hugged his brother and asked him why he was acting so out of character. He should have had some faith.

Jared was still for a moment, his body unmoving, but it didn’t take him long before his brother wound his arms around him and a shudder went through Jared.

“It’s so fucked up, Kai.” His brother squeezed him tight.

“We’ll make it right,” Kai vowed. He would get his brother out of this. He would do whatever it took as long as it didn’t hurt the only person in the world he had to put above all others—his love, his other half, his Kori.

Jared took a step back. “All right. I’ll do what you want. But you have to do something for me.”

“Anything.” After all this time, he owed Jared something.

“Go after Kori. I saw the look in her eyes. You can’t wait. She’s angry and you have to make it right.”

“I don’t know that there’s any way I can make it right.” Perhaps this was payback for all the years of turning his back on