From Sanctum with Love (Masters and Mercenaries #10) - Lexi Blake Page 0,132

in private?”

Erin gestured to the left. “My bedroom is in there. You can use it. After we pass this off to the boys, we can get some sleep. I’ll make up the couch for you and Kori can bunk with me. It’s a king-sized bed. I can share.”

Kori wasn’t sure she would be able to sleep at all.

Mia walked toward the master bedroom and Kori stood up.

“I’ll get the sheets and stuff. Are they in the hall closet?” She was willing to do anything to shut her brain down.

Why hadn’t he told her? If Kai had told her he was trying to track down Theo’s killer, she would have helped. She would have stood at his side and played her role, and they could have come out of this mess as friends. She would still have him in her life, still have a job, still have a home.

“I think we should talk before Big Tag gets here and the shit storm begins.”

Kori shook her head. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Oh, there is. Kai fucked up. He fucked up badly and I can see in your eyes that you’re going to run. I know because I would very likely do the same thing. What did you hear him say? I watched the tape, but there’s no sound.”

“He said he was done. He said he wanted all of this crap to be over so he didn’t have to deal with me anymore,” she admitted. “The thing is I would have done anything he asked. Why did he have to hurt me like that? And what did he think would happen afterward? Did he think he could walk in the next day and ask for a mulligan on the whole relationship thing? Did he think I wouldn’t notice that we’d stopped fucking like rabbits?”

“That doesn’t sound like the Kai I know,” Erin allowed.

“Yeah, well, the Kai I know wouldn’t lie to me. He wouldn’t use me. He put us all in harm’s way. Sarah didn’t have to go tonight. She didn’t have to fall in deeper with Jared, but Kai insisted because it suited his plans. He didn’t think about the rest of us. He didn’t care who got hurt as long as he did his job.” It was obvious who Kai’s loyalties belonged to and it damn straight wasn’t her.

“Men get odd when they’re working. Especially operatives.” Erin seemed strangely calm, as though the events of the evening had soothed her in some way.

“Kai isn’t an operative. He’s a shrink. He’s a yoga-doing, Zen-master shrink. He’s not some kind of spy.”

“Ah, but he’s in the brotherhood and you would do well to remember that. He did his time in the Army. He fought for his country, and no matter how many downward dogs he does now, deep down he’ll always be a warrior, and that makes him one of them.”

“One of them?”

“The brotherhood,” Erin explained. “I like to call it that. I’ll be honest, when I first joined up at McKay-Taggart, I almost quit a couple of months in because I know what it feels like to be on the outside of the brotherhood. I’ve got a vagina so no matter how hard I fight, I’m never really going to be one of them. The Army taught me that. Don’t get me wrong. The men I served with never treated me as anything less than one of the team. They valued me. The Army was where I found my worth. But the kind of men who willingly go and risk their lives for our country also tend to be the kind of men who throw themselves over a woman’s body when there’s a bomb in play. That’s the McKay-Taggart guys to a T. They will value me for my skills and when the time comes they will also throw my ass into the last lifeboat with their wives and children.”

Kori didn’t see the problem. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

Erin sat back, her head resting against the comfy chair that used to be Theo’s. “I grew up trying to be a guy. I was the only girl among a family of men who didn’t know what to do with me. Hell, they didn’t really want me there at all. Some people would say my childhood bordered on the abusive. I went into the Army right out of high school because that’s what all Argents do. I learned how to be a soldier there and it bugged me that the guys in my team