“But she wasn’t,” Reuben replied softly, approaching her tentatively. Slowly he sat down beside her on the bed, seeming afraid she would snap at him like a wounded animal if he got too close. “You’ve been controlling your telekinesis.”
Not that night. Not when she had nightmares. When she was awake and in control she was able to harness whatever energy it was that gave her the ability to move things with her mind, but as soon as her emotions went into overload, there was no stopping the chaos. She had been fine around Reuben and his gang; killing vampyres who preyed on humans; putting all her hate into pounding the living daylight out of them; and feeling nothing more than a tangible connection to these good vamps she worked with; they were colleagues, nothing more. She wouldn’t let them be.
But two weeks ago, she had started having nightmares about her time in the cage. She didn’t know why or how… but they were vivid and horrifying, and kicked her telekinesis into high gear. She had been awoken by Lily’s screams. Six blades were embedded into the walls around them, and her precious axe was embedded above Lily’s head as she cowered in the corner of the room. Books, furniture, clothes... were strewn everywhere, and Lily’s nose was bleeding, a black bruise appearing on her porcelain face. Jaeden had refused to let her sleep in the same room with her – or anyone – since. And she’d refused to go out hunting with any of them in case she got them killed.
“Only when my emotions are stable. I can’t take chances, OK.”
For her that was the end of the discussion.
“Do you want to talk about these nightmares?”
“Uh no.”
“What about that?”
Jae frowned and looked up to see what he was talking about. He was pointing to her axe mounted on the wall. “What about it?”
He shrugged and looked at her, trying to appear calm, but his jaw was clenched tightly. “If you’re saying you can’t control it, why do you have a weapon in here that could kill you in your sleep?”
Because it doesn’t matter.
She didn’t say that. Reuben would kill her himself if she said that. He wanted her to be so happy here with him and the gang, taking out bad guys, living off Lily’s inheritance. But she was miserable. She ached with every part of her body for the pack. She wanted her mother and father, and her little niece Jaela. She wanted to run free with them through the woods behind Lucien’s house, and play and tussle with Sebastian. Her dresser began to shake at the thought of Seb and she quickly threw him out of her mind.
He was gone. She wasn’t ever getting him back.
She could have the pack back if she wanted.
But she didn’t. She wouldn’t.
She wouldn’t live with the people who reminded her of when she was whole and pure and good. She was something else now; something broken and corrupted and she just couldn’t face that kind of disappointment from the people she loved after everything that had happened to her.
“Well?” Reuben pressed.
“I’ll take it down.” It would be easier than explaining to him about how messed up she was. She guessed he knew it already, though.
“Jae... ” he placed his large, cool hand over hers.
Crap, she winced, looking up into his face. She shouldn’t make eye contact with him. His black eyes asked for way more than she could give.
“Don’t.” She snatched her hand back, refusing to meet his gaze.
He snapped up off the bed. “If you would just let me in, I could help you. Just tell me what happened to you.”
No way. No one could ever know how bad it got.
At her silence he heaved a heavy sigh. “Fine. I’ll let you sleep.”
“OK.”
He turned to leave and then looked back at her. “Just so you know we may have to leave the city. The rogues have cottoned on to the fact this is no longer an easy target for breaking Coven law.”
She nodded, not caring where they went.
“I’m going out.”
Again she nodded. Reuben had a tendency to disappear every now and then to goddess knows where. Jae didn’t ask about his mysterious loner ventures. That would imply that she cared.
2 - Midnight Rebel