I shrugged. “I could just finish my tea and go.”
Craig narrowed his eyes. “Try it and I’ll tackle you.”
I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. “What?”
Amusement lit his eyes. “You heard me. And I’ll answer your question. No. I’ve never been in love. How many times have you been in love?” he immediately said before I could respond to his answer.
“I’m not some fickle creature who falls in and out of love easily. In fact I’ve never been in love. I’ve been close though. I don’t throw my whole heart into the relationship before really getting to know the guy, and by the time I’d gotten to know my past boyfriends they proved themselves not up to the task of loving me the way I wanted them to. And vice versa.”
Craig chuckled. “Are you trying to tell me you’re high maintenance, Rain?”
“Yes,” I answered honestly. “Not with general life stuff or daily living. I don’t nag about tidying up or having the boys around for boxing night or video game night every weekend . . . but emotionally I know I’m high maintenance.” I bit my lip at the confession, surprised I’d given away so much. What was it about him that made me feel so comfortable that I started blurting out these terribly personal pieces of information?
“There must be a reason. Perhaps the reason is in Inverness,” he hedged with a shocking amount of perceptiveness.
Something in my expression must have given me away because Craig’s own gaze softened and he leaned across the table toward me until all I could see was his gorgeous face. “You know when I lost my dad it made me cling hard to the family I had left—my mum and my sisters. It made me really overprotective of them. Like you with Darcy.”
He’d guessed then that I’d lost family. “My parents.” I nodded, unable to look away from his eyes. “I was six. Darcy was four. It was a boating accident. We went to live with my aunt. She was a drunk.”
“Fuck,” Craig breathed. He reached for my hand and secured it between both of his. “I take it things were not good at home.”
I stared at my hand held so tightly in his. My hand looked right in his hold. It felt even more right. I immediately wanted to tug it back, but the warmth, the comfort of his gesture stopped me. “No. Things weren’t good at home.”
“You left Darcy. That’s why you feel guilty.”
“I couldn’t take her with me. My aunt wouldn’t let me and I had no legal right to her. I just had to bide my time . . . but the truth is . . . I could have stuck around. I could have stayed anyway. I was selfish. I was a selfish, self-involved teenager and my sister was left to that woman’s cruelty because of it.”
“You were just a kid.”
Unsettled by his kindness, I released my hand from his grasp and lowered my gaze. “Well, anyway, it’s the reason you should probably turn tail and run.”
“And why’s that?”
I looked up again and put all the sincerity in the world into my eyes and words. “Because other than Darcy, I didn’t receive a lot of affection for most of my childhood. Now I’m greedy for it. I’m someone who’s emotionally high maintenance in a relationship and I’m told it’s exhausting. So there. I’m not who you think I am.”
Craig studied me thoughtfully. “Who do you think I think you are?”
“I don’t know really. I just know that I’m complicated. I’m super independent in life, and in business, to the point where it drove my exes crazy. And then when it came to romance I’ve been told I’m too needy. I’m a messy paradox of a woman and it’s going to take a certain guy who can deal with all that. Not a one-night-stander. I need certainty in the future. I’ve been hurt before and I need to know going in that a guy is the right guy, that we’ll last, and that he won’t hurt me.”
His study of me continued in silence for a moment and then finally he said, “I should probably be running for the door right now.”
“Yes, you should.”
His slow, wicked smile made my insides quiver. “Strangely I don’t want to. I want to be your friend, Rain.”
To my annoyance, disappointment rammed into me gut. Of course he would change his tune after hearing about my emotional dysfunction. And that’s what I wanted, right?
Right?
WRONG!
I realized then that I didn’t want to be just friends with Craig but I also didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who could hurt me, and that meant that I didn’t want him in my life at all.
“I don’t think we should be friends.”
He chuckled. “You know you have a habit of bruising my ego.”
I winced. “I don’t mean to.”