On Dublin Street(38)

In other words, Vicky was at the next table and they’d hooked up. I shrugged off the unfamiliar uneasiness that came over me. My chest felt a little sore and I was feeling a little queasy. Maybe Ellie wasn’t food-deprived— maybe we’d both eaten something bad yesterday.

“Nice to see you again, Ellie,” Vicky replied sweetly. She seemed nice enough.

“Hmm.” Ellie blatantly brushed her off, rolling her eyes and then skewering them into Braden. “Are you coming to dinner this afternoon?”

I watched the muscle in his jaw flex. He definitely wasn’t amused by his sister’s attitude. “Of course.” His eyes travelled back to me. “I’ll see you both there.”

“Joss can’t make it. She has stuff to do.”

He frowned at me. “It’s just a few hours. Surely you can squeeze us in?”

In response, Vicky pressed closer to Braden. “I’d love to have dinner, Braden.”

Braden gave her a somewhat patronizing pat on the hand. “Sorry, sweetheart, it’s just family.”

Three things happened at once. Ellie choked on her laughter, Vicky reared back like he’d slapped her, and I felt a panic attack coming on.

Feeling the fog closing in on me, I breathed through it and my confusion. “You know what.” I took a step back from them. “I totally forgot I said I’d drop off Jo’s tips to her at her apartment. Today. Now, actually.” I waved apologetically. “I gotta go. I’ll catch you later.”

And then I got the hell out of there as fast as I could.

***

“Why did you run?” Dr. Pritchard asked, her head tilted to the side like a curious bird.

I don’t know. “I don’t know.”

“You’ve mentioned Ellie’s brother, Braden, a number of times now. How does he fit into your life?”

I want him. “I guess he’s sort of a friend.” When she just stared at me, I shrugged. “We had an unconventional introduction.”

I told her everything.

“So you’re attracted to him?”

“I was.”

She nodded. “Back to my earlier question then. Why? Why did you run?”

Lady, if I knew that, would I be here? “I don’t know.”

“Was it because Braden was with another woman? Or because he implied you were family?”

“Both I guess.” I rubbed my forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “I want him to stay in the box I’ve put him in.”

“The box?”

“You know, the box. It’s got a label and everything. It’s says ‘sort-of friends’. We’re sort of friends, but not really good friends. We hang out, but we don’t really know each other. I prefer it that way. I think I might have panicked at the thought that he thinks there’s more. That he’d think we were close somehow. I don’t want that.”

“Why not?”

“I just don’t.”

Seeming to sense my tone, Dr. Pritchard nodded and didn’t ask the question again. “And your feelings regarding seeing him with another woman…?”

“The only feelings I had were confusion and panic. He was with a woman he obviously has a sexual relationship and history with and he implied somehow that our friendship was deeper than what he had with her by saying what he did to her. Like I said, that’s not true. I don’t want that.”

“And that’s the only reason?”