“You?” Jai snapped. “What about me?
Rather than tell me this stuff, you treated me like crap. I thought you thought it was a mistake.”
But he might as well have stayed quiet. She was on a roll. “And it’s not just the sex thing. You don’t talk to me.”
Well, that was the biggest load of BS he’d ever heard. “Bullshit.”
“I ask you about your dad. What he did to you … and you shut me down.”
“You asked me if I was okay with it, and I told you I was.”
“But you’re clearly not.”
He squeezed his eyes closed, willing himself not to lose his cool with her. “I think I remember telling you when we first met that when a guy says he’s fine, he means he’s fine!” So much for keeping his cool.
“Don’t shout at me!”
Disbelieving at the insensible, illogical fight unfurling out of control, Jai grimaced. She was shouting at him. “You’re nuts.”
Definitely the wrong thing to say.
Hurt settled into her features before she drew herself up. “Thanks for the talk. Dick.”
She moved to hurry past him but Jai wasn’t done. Frustration, longing, lust, love, anger, it all mingled together in a need to have her see the truth. In a need to just … have her.
His arm shot out quick as lightning, his hand curling around her bicep as he yanked her down over him. He fell back against the sofa cushions, rearranging her as she huffed and fussed so that she was straddling his lap. She tried to bat away his hands but he grabbed her wrists, restraining her so she was pressed flush against him, their faces not even an inch apart. Jai stared into her unusual eyes, eyes that searched his frantically. “Did we make a mistake, Jai?” she whispered, her breath teasing his lips. “Did we move too fast?”
He let go of her wrists to smooth his hands down her slender hips, pulling her closer. Ari’s breath hitched, her hands coming to rest on his chest. It was rising and falling a little more quickly than normal, and she could probably feel his heart slamming against her palm. “I think we’re new at this. And I think we need to start talking to each other.”
“You’re not really much of a talker.”
Jai grunted in acknowledgement and brushed a soft kiss across her mouth. Bad idea. His mouth tingled and his skin prickled with heat. At the second hitch in Ari’s breath, he knew she felt it too. “Then I’ll start.” He pulled back a little so he could look into her face, so that she could look into his and see the sincerity there. “You’re right.
There is no getting over my father’s betrayal but when I said I’m fine, I am fine, Ari. There’s nothing for me to talk about. Nothing for me to work out of my system. What he did gave me clarity, I told you that. I meant it. I’m okay, because … I have you. Because you showed me what family really is.”
“Jai …,” she whispered, pressing closer, the clean scent of soap and vanilla causing another flush of heat to engulf him. She always smelled so amazing.
“I’m not done.” His hands flexed on her hips. “As for … sex …” He stopped. Just the word set off frustrated sparks inside of him. He tried to control the tightness in his lap and failed. Ari nudged against him, her excited puffs of breath causing the fog to start in his brain. “Ari,” he breathed, his grip on her hard. “Don’t.”
“Why?” She licked at his mouth and he groaned, pulling his head back.
“Because …” he tried to clear the fog. “You’re distracting me from what I was saying.”
“You said … as for sex …”
“Right.” His gaze fell to her mouth. Ari had the perfect mouth. He’d obsessed over that mouth since he’d kissed it for the first time when he put the trace on her. It was lush and full. It wasn’t an innocent mouth. Jai jerked his head back. “Okay. Stop.”
Hearing the determination in his voice, Ari stopped wriggling and drew back, glaring at him. “This is what I’m talking about. How can it be so easy for you to stop when it feels like I’m going to come out of my freaking skin?”
He laughed, which was so the wrong thing to do. Ari huffed in outrage and tried to climb off him, but Jai wrapped his arms around her, bands of steel she couldn’t escape. “I’m not laughing at you,” he promised. “I’m laughing at the fact that you think every time I walk away from you, it’s somehow easy for me. Do you know how many cold showers I’ve taken since we moved in together? One a day. On occasion, two.”
Ari’s mouth parted in surprise.
“Oh.”
“Oh is right. Ari, I wanted
you to know that this is more than sex. I wanted you to feel safe with me.