The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,7

jumped when someone put their hand on my shoulder. Spinning around I was stunned to see that nobody was there. Yet I had felt it. I was positive. Chills went up my spine and I whispered, “Garrett?” I searched the empty room and continued, “Garrett, if you can hear me, I don’t know what we are supposed to do without you. Not Rainey or me, or mom and dad. I’m not you. It would have been so much easier if it had been me instead. But I will keep trying, I promise.”

“Max?” A female voice called from my bedroom. I walked back through our adjoining bathroom and saw Maya standing there looking uncomfortable, her hand tugging on the ends of her long blonde hair.

“Maya. Hey. What’s going on?”

“Your mom told me I could just come on up. I hope that’s okay.” She approached me slowly and gave me a hesitant hug that I didn’t return.

“Of course,” I stood there feeling awkward. At the time of Garrett’s accident, Maya and I had been seeing each other for about six weeks. We’d been getting along really well and I had been into her, but that had all changed. I hadn’t been taking her calls or replying to her texts. “Maya, I’m really sorry that I’ve been such a jerk, but I just…”

“Max, it’s okay. Please, don’t feel bad. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Want to sit?” I gestured to my black futon and after she was seated

I sat down across from her on the end of my bed.

We sat in silence for awhile before she broke it, “So, how’s Rainey?”

“She’s not doing very well, but it hasn’t been very long.”

“Have you seen her? I mean, I saw her sitting with your family at the funeral, but, besides that?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ve seen her every day since it happened. She just left a little while ago.”

I saw a flash of hurt cross her face but I ignored it. Maya and Rainey were not friends, although their paths had certainly crossed a few times while we were going out. She knew Rainey and Garrett had been together forever. Everyone knew that. Did she resent me spending time with my dead brother’s girlfriend?

“What do you need me to do Max? Give you space? I don’t know why you’ve shut me out.” Her pretty face crumpled and I prayed she wouldn’t start to cry. I didn’t need this right now.

“Maya, I’m really sorry but my twin just died. I can’t just go on with my life like nothing has happened. I can barely make it through the day. I just don’t know when I will be me again.”

“I’ll wait. I’ll give you all the time you need.” She reached out and took my hand in hers, her blue eyes begging me to help her out. But I couldn’t, I just couldn’t.

“Maya, no, don’t wait. I’m not going to be able to be with you or anyone. I’m sorry.”

“But Max,” she said, standing up, her voice rising. “Everything was going great between us. I care about you, and I thought you felt the same about me.”

“I know, I did, but it just can’t work anymore. I can’t be in any relationship. I need to be alone right now. Maya, it has nothing at all to do with you. You are great. Really.”

“Obviously,” she said, her voice dripping sarcasm. “You don’t want to be with me but you will hang out with Rainey,” Her eyes narrowed in anger.

I stood too, and as she marched out the door I didn’t follow. I simply sighed in relief when I hear the front door slam.

Chapter 4

Rainey

There was a note waiting for me when I got home. Mom was taking Grandma out to do some errands and would be home by five o’clock. Dad was at work and would arrive at his usual time of 5:30. I was grateful for the silence and solitude and headed to my room. Sitting at my desk, I decided to turn on my computer for the first time since the accident. I was astounded by the messages awaiting me. Love and support from friends, acquaintances, and total strangers. A lump formed in my throat and I couldn’t bring myself to go on the “ Garrett- We love you forever!” page someone had created. I logged off and opened the M&M’s, spilling some into my palm. I just stared at them until my vision blurred and I dropped them