The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,64
I miss him, and how sorry I am.”
“What else?”
“Kara, this is dumb. The world isn’t ending tomorrow.”
“Pretend Rainey. Nothing can change until you are comfortable with your own feelings.”
“Okay, I’d tell him that I love him.”
“Like a brother?”
“No.”
“Well, that is progress.” Kara smiled, “Max knows you needed to be away from him to really learn how you felt about him. You needed to lose him to see it clearly.”
“He said that?”
“No. he said nothing. You are on the right track Rainey. Now I’m not saying another thing. Want to give our friend Annie a bath?”
I felt lighter as I headed to get Annie’s bath ready. I just wondered, without the world ending, how would I get my chance to talk to Max?
Max
After dinner I helped mom with the dishes and then went upstairs to work on my music. Colin had told me to choose four of my best songs to play at a show in March. He was opening for a singer songwriter and I would play a quick set in front of him. Up to this point I hadn’t played for anyone outside of friends and family. I knew Colin felt I was ready to be up on stage and I agreed. I had dozens of completed songs and of those, there were at least twenty that I felt could work for the show. I spent an hour going through them but my mind kept replaying my conversation with Kara.
She wanted me to finish The Saddest Song, but why? I began to strum my guitar and the music took me over. Soon I was singing the chorus and before I knew it hours had passed and the song was written. The words had flowed out of me, emotions I had been avoiding making me write lyrics that were simple and honest.
I laid my guitar down and let my mind wander to where it always wanted to go. Visions of long dark hair and big dark eyes made my body ache for her presence. My cell phone sitting silent on my nightstand was calling to me. Could I text her, go back to being her friend? Two months ago it seemed like torture to stay in the friend zone. Tonight it felt like it would be better than nothing. Because I had nothing. Nothing except a sad song.
Chapter 30
Rainey
One day in early March my mom met me in the garage. She waited while I turned off my car waving two large envelopes. She was smiling from ear to ear.
“Mom, what’s going on?” I grabbed my backpack and slammed the car door.
“You got two big envelopes!” Everyone knows rejections come in small ones.
“Which ones?”
“UCLA and UC Santa Barbara!”
“Wow, that’s great! Let’s open them.” I tried to how excitement. I didn’t tell her that I could have checked online already to see if I had gotten in. Kids at school had been announcing acceptances all week.
We stood at the kitchen island and read the good news. We called my dad and grandma to tell them too. Then she gave me a small envelope from UC Berkley. She looked relieved when I didn’t get upset.
“Have you talked to Mrs. McKinley mom?”
She shook her head and said, “I am sure she will let me know where he got in.”
“Yeah.”
“Honey, hasn’t this gone on long enough? I can see how much you miss Max. What could be so bad that you can’t get past it and make up?”
“Mom, not now, okay?”
“Fine, but avoiding the subject won’t make it go away.”
“I know,” I said to pacify her and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge I went to my room. I sat down at my computer and checked my college applications seeing that more large envelopes would be on their way. I decided to keep the news to myself and let mom enjoy getting the mail. I just wished I knew where Max was getting in. But it didn’t really matter. We could go to the same school and still be a world apart.
Max
Saturday at Colin’s I finished playing my new song for him and Ethan and waited for their reaction. I knew that the song was good. I had hoped they would think so too, but silence stretched out so long I had to break it.
“What? You hate it?”
“Wow,” Ethan said.
“Unbelievable. We need to record it Max. Now.” Colin started to get his recording equipment ready.
“Record it? So, you like it?”
“Ma, that song is perfect. The music. the lyrics. The emotion in your voice.”
“It’s the