The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,60
thought we would now be a couple. I wished they were right. I watched as Rainey helped the girls make Belgium Waffles and warm up the Kringles my mom had sent. I kept trying to gauge her emotions while making conversation with Colin and Ethan. She seemed fine, but I felt her avoiding my eyes.
When it came time to head home I dreaded the conversation we needed to have. We couldn’t leave things like this. Rainey’s idea of pretending it hadn’t happened wasn’t possible. We could work this out, I was sure of it. Her guilt was understandable, but she couldn’t think she was cheating on someone when they were no longer alive. We had done nothing wrong.
Chapter 26
Rainey
All during our drive down from the mountains Max tried to make light conversation. I wasn’t very cooperative and after an hour of my one word answers he finally gave up. He handed me his iPod and told me to listen to whatever I wanted. I hadn’t even noticed the music that had been playing so far. I crossed my arms and pouted, telling him I didn’t care what we listened to. He reached out and turned off the music.
“Okay Rainey, I get that your angry. We need to talk about it.”
“No.”
“So, you would rather pout? Are you trying to punish me? You begged me to pretend that it never happened. I’m trying to do that but you are a glaring reminder that it did.”
“I’m not mad at you.”
“You’re not.”
“No.”
“Really?”
“I’m just tired.”
“Okay, so we’re okay? You don’t feel I took advantage of you?”
“No Max. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine.” He stopped talking but I felt him look over at me several times while I stared straight ahead. We drove in silence the rest of the way home. It didn’t make me feel any better. I was punishing both of us. Somehow I guess that I felt we both deserved it.
When we pulled into my driveway I told him not to get out, I could get my own bags. I slammed the truck door and he rolled the window down and shouted, “Text me later!”
“Okay,” I said. I didn’t look back as I hurried inside.
Max
I didn’t wait for Rainey’s text. I knew it wasn’t coming. I decided to let her stew and wait until the next day to try and talk to her. I thought she might chill out by then. I mean, it happened, we had to live with it. Really, if anyone, I was the one who should be the most upset. I loved her and she thought of me as a friend. There wasn’t much I could do with that.
I woke up early and checked my phone. Nothing. I decided to do as she had requested and act like nothing happened, so I did what I did every morning. I sent her a text.
“Hey. What do you want to do today?”
I waited. An hour passed, nothing. Two more, still nothing. I knew she was up by lunchtime so I called and got her voice mail. I hung up without leaving a message and went to work on a song. It was weird not having her around. Knowing why was even weirder. I would almost take that whole night back if I could. Almost.
By that afternoon I had decided that the whole silent treatment had gone on long enough. I drove over to her house and rang the bell repeatedly until she opened the door. She didn’t speak, and I could tell she had been crying.
“Can I come in?”
“Not right now.”
“Rainey, come on, how long are you going to be upset?” I reached out for her and she pulled away as if my touch repulsed her.
“I’m fine, Max.” She crossed her arms tightly.
“Why aren’t you answering my texts?”
“I just need some space.”
“Space? Are you breaking up with me?” I asked, shocked.
“We aren’t a couple, Max.”
“You know what I mean. Do you not want to be friends anymore?” She winced at the sarcastic way I said the word friends. I felt desperate, like the world was caving in on me. I couldn’t believe this was happening to us.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what I want,” she replied, looking anywhere but in my eyes.
“We go back to school in less than a week. Will we be back to normal by then?”
“I’m sorry Max. I don’t know.”
I stood there waiting for her to look at me. I could have waited all day, but it was obvious nothing was going to change.