The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,49

had held Rainey while we slept, but then she came out of my bathroom and smiled, “Get up sleepyhead! Breakfast is in ten.” She went back to her room across the hall and I smiled as I headed for the shower.

I walked into my house prepared for my parent’s reaction to the cut on my forehead. They didn’t disappoint.

“Hi Sweetheart!” Mom’s smile died and her eyes grew bigger as she headed straight for me. “Max! What Happened?”

“I’m fine, mom. I fell snowboarding. It’s just a scratch.”

“That’s more than a scratch! Come in the kitchen so I can get the first aid kit.” I held still while she applied antibiotic ointment. “You could have been hurt badly. You have to be more careful.”

“I know. I was really lucky. Hey mom, you have to see the pictures of Sophie’s Grandparents’ house. You won’t believe this place.”

I pulled out my phone and just as I knew they would, the pictures distracted her and she examined every detail. Dad was quiet, he hadn’t said much but he kept looking at my forehead in a way that let me know he was glad my injury hadn’t been serious. Rainey had been right not to call them.

“Dinner is in an hour!” Mom called as I headed up the stairs. I tossed my bag on the floor and flopped down on my bed. I was tired, but my head felt fine. I just wanted to be alone. I needed to examine my feelings and figure out what I was doing. I had enjoyed Rainey a little too much this weekend, despite my injury. I felt closer to her than to anyone else in my life, ever. I missed her already, and it had only been forty five minutes since I dropped her off.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I smiled when I read the text. She asked how my mom took it when she saw my cut. An innocent question, but I could picture her asking. I knew her facial expressions and the inflections of her voice. I wondered if Garrett had noticed all the things that I did? Did he see the way her nose crinkled when she grinned? Had he liked the way she would tuck her hair behind her right ear while she talked? He used to say he could not deny those big brown eyes anything. Would he understand why I couldn’t either? Would he hate me from the grave for having these thoughts about his girl? As much as I adored her, I knew Rainey wasn’t mine. She only cared about me because I was Garrett’s twin. I couldn’t have her the way I was starting to want her. Still, as I texted her back, I was wishing that I could.

Chapter 19

Rainey

Garrett and Max had been born three minutes apart, with Garrett being the eldest. Their birthday was on Friday and I didn’t know how I felt about that, or more importantly how Max felt. At school he had been in such a good mood that I didn’t want to bring it up. But as sad as I felt about Garrett not turning eighteen, I wanted to be able to celebrate with Max. I wanted him to have presents and a cake and all the usual birthday traditions. But would he relapse if I gave him those things? We had both come so far in our grieving process, I didn’t want to send him backwards. As well as I knew him, this was something I didn’t know how to address. Turns out, my mom came up with the solution. Probably while trying to keep me from relapsing into constant tears. On Monday after coming home from doing my homework at Max’s, she was waiting for me.

“Hi babe. How was school?”

“Good.”

“Want to give me a hand with dinner?”

“Sure.” She handed me a bowl, a grater and a large block of mozzarella cheese. I washed my hands and then began to shred cheese while she put lasagna noodles into a pot of boiling water.

“I was at Shelley’s today.” Shelley was Mrs. McKinley’s first name. “We were talking about how hard the boys’ birthday would be for everyone.”

I nodded while I continued with the cheese.

“She’s kind of torn about how to handle it. She is heartbroken about Garrett, but worried about Max having his day ruined.”

“I know Mom, me too. He says he wants to skip it completely, but how will we be able to do that?”

“Well, I had planned to decorate the Christmas