The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,4
and Garrett volunteered us to help her find it. Of course he got to head one direction with her and I went the other way on my own. When I came back lugging the runaway beagle, she had trained her big eyes on Garrett in a worshipful way and didn’t seem to even notice I was the one who found it. And that is how we sort of met.
We saw her at school the next day and she blushed when she came over to thank us and introduce herself. She was so pretty that it was actually weird that we had not noticed her before. Garrett played it cool but suddenly her name came up a lot. By Christmas they were an item. I knew she would have been my sister in law someday. Garrett always planned out his whole life and Rainey became the center of it. I had never been one for planning ahead and now I knew for sure there was no point. Tomorrow may not happen anyway.
Chapter 3
Rainey
Max was sitting on the front porch when I walked up. My dad had offered me a ride. My mom had even offered me her car, but I needed the walk. Garrett and I often walked the mile between our homes, both together and separately. I remembered the anticipation I would feel when I headed to see him. Today I had walked slowly, in no hurry, knowing he wasn’t waiting for me. He would never wait for me again. I thought about scrapping the whole idea and turning around. Was I a glutton for punishment going to his house so soon? But if poor Max could live there without his twin, surely I could visit. If it was too hard I could go home. Max had no choice and neither did his mom and dad. I could only imagine their pain, maybe even greater than my own if that were possible. Could anyone hurt more than this? I doubted it. I doubted it made sense to compare my grief to theirs.
“Hey Rainey,” Max said. Rising from his seat on the porch step he reached out to hug me. I clung to him, fresh tears finding their familiar path down my cheeks. It seemed as if my eyes should have been dry by now. Where was this endless supply of tears coming from? I wasn’t eating or drinking much of anything. No food would stay down, or at least I assumed it wouldn’t. I hadn’t eaten in days. The cupcakes Caitlynn had brought me yesterday sat undisturbed in their box, growing stale. I didn’t think I would ever eat again, especially not cupcakes.
“God Rainey, you’re all boney,” Max said. I gave a bitter laugh. He was looking pretty bad himself. We were both too thin to have to go through this.
“I can’t eat Max. He can’t either, it’s only fair.”
“Yeah, I know. That is what I think too.” I told you that Max and I were alike. I felt understood for the first time since this nightmare began. Not that Garrett understood me even half the time, he didn’t. He loved me anyway. He loved me all the time. No one would love me like that again. Not that it mattered, I didn’t want them to.
“You sure you’re ready to face the folks?”
“Yes, of course. You don’t think it will hurt them to see me here, do you?”
Max ran his fingers through his messy dark hair and shrugged. “Everything hurts Rain, but you are what he loved most. How could they not want to be around you? Besides, you’re family.”
I nodded. He opened the front door and I entered as I had a million times before, only this time he wasn’t waiting.
As soon as I walked through the door, Garrett’s mom walked in from the kitchen and saw me. “Rainey! Oh Rainey!” I was enveloped in Mrs. McKinley’s arms, and my heart broke into even more pieces at the anguish in her sobs. I hugged her tightly as we both cried. Then I whispered the first thing that came into my head, not pausing to think or consider whether it was wise or hurtful.
“He thought you were the coolest mom in the world, Mrs. McKinley. Every time we were around our friends’ moms he’d tell me how lucky he was to have you. He even used to say your cookies were better than theirs.”
She gave a small laugh and said, “Really?”
I nodded and continued. “He said that you understood him