The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,39

to Rainey’s house, since no one was there. Her mom always took her grandma on her errands every Tuesday. We set our laptops up on her kitchen table. I didn’t want my mom to be present while we decided where to apply. I would rather fill everything out and wait until later to share my future plans. Mom and Dad had mentioned application deadlines a couple of times in the past couple of weeks, and I told Rainey we couldn’t avoid it any longer.

“I brought that pamphlet of College ratings if you want to see it.” She tossed it towards me.

“Thanks,” I said, trying to meet her eyes, which were avoiding mine suddenly. “What’s wrong?”

She lowered her head into her hands and sighed, “You know, I don’t think I am ready to go away to school.”

“What do you mean? You had a huge list of schools that you wanted to apply to.”

Finally she looked up at me, her eyes wet. “I don’t want to go to any of those schools anymore.”

“Because of Garrett, I get it. But you have just as much right to go to them as he did. You earned it, your grades will get you in anywhere.”

“I don’t like admitting this Max, not to you or to myself, but I never wanted to go. I was just going for Garrett, so we could be together while he followed his dreams. It was only for him.”

“Well, what about your dreams, where does Rainey want to go?”

“I have no idea. Isn’t that pathetic? I don’t want to go away from home at all. But my parents will be crushed, they are so excited for me to experience College.”

“That is not pathetic at all, Rainey. I have the opposite problem. I always planned to go to the east coast. Now, all that has to change. I can’t go too far away from my mom and dad, not now.”

“Max, I’m sure they still want to see you follow your dreams.” She reached out and put her hand over mine. “Garrett would hate it if he knew you didn’t go because of him.”

“No, I hope that he would have done the same thing. Some things are just more important. Anyway, I think I will just blanket all the California schools, the UC’s and Cal States and then choose from the ones that I get into. If I’m in the same state it will be easy to come home a lot, and for mom and dad to visit whenever they want.”

“That’s a really good plan, do you mind if I copy?”

I laughed, “No, of course not. I kind of hoped we would end up in the same place.” I meant it, but was afraid she might feel like she had gone from following one twin to the other.

“I will do that too, then we will have some choices. I always thought Santa Barbara would be fun, but they didn’t have a football team.”

“Yeah, I love it up there. We don’t have to make any big decisions now. If we finish them today then we can put them out of our heads until the acceptances come in and that’s not until March.”

We worked all afternoon on our essays and filling out the application questions. When we finished I felt so much lighter. At least I had made a step toward my future. A step and now I could put it out of my mind for four months. That felt like a lifetime from now.

Chapter 15

Rainey

I opened my eyes Thanksgiving morning and was welcomed by the sight of my clock flashing red. Smiling, I whispered, “I love you Garrett.” It felt good. I had got used to my signs that he was still around. Of course today he would know we would need him. No doubt, his family would also receive proof that he was there.

I dressed in sweats and a t-shirt and went down to help my mom with her dinner preparations. By midmorning we had finished the dressing, cranberry sauce, my dad’s favorite green bean casserole and the praline yams. Dad was just seasoning the turkey before he put it in the oven when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” I said, grabbing a towel to wipe my hands. I opened the door to see Caitlynn standing there, a covered pie dish in her hands.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” She grinned, “Mom sent you one of her famous Caramel Apple Pies.”

“Yum!” I said, taking it from her. “It smells wonderful! Come on in.”

”Hello Caitlynn! Happy Thanksgiving!” Mom