a fair point. But they pay your wages on time, and they let you work for others as long as there’s no general conflict of interest.”
“And since I’m not auditing the kind of businesses my company has any interest in, it’s no big deal.”
“They like the stench of money.”
“That they do.” I rolled my shoulders and grimaced at the various snaps, pops, and creaks. “I’d like to maintain that clause wherever I work next, but a lot of corporations don’t allow it. That’ll make the job hunt difficult. I can probably get an exemption for the folks I already do accounting for, but I’d have to make a list for them to ensure there’s no conflict of interest.”
“You’ll be fine. You always land on your feet, and you always find that little loophole that lets you get away with just about anything. If you have any issues, give me a call. If you’re tired of big corporate, there’s a lot of smaller businesses who’d love to hire someone like you.”
While true, I’d take a hard kick to my income, which was half-decent for my age and experience. It helped I’d added on as many certifications and extra schooling as I could get—it also helped I’d entered the workforce free of debt thanks to working myself to near death and having a little help from my birth parents, who’d left us enough to get our educations.
My adoptive parents had worked hard to keep us free from debt, too.
“I’ll figure something out. Also, my brother is an ass, and I’m going to teach him a lesson. Play along.”
“How do you want me to play along?”
“I want you to pretend I don’t exist.”
“What on Earth has gotten into you?”
“He hung up on me, and you know what you told me once upon a time after a bad day.”
“I regret telling you to stop getting mad and start getting even,” Wolfgang muttered.
“It’ll be fun. All you have to tell my brother if he calls you asking about me is that you don’t know anything about what’s going on, and since you hate lying, I’m not going to tell you what’s going on.”
“I don’t hate lying, I just hate lying without a good reason. If Mat has gotten you that mad, I’ll tell him I don’t know what’s going on for you. It’s his own damned fault, anyway. He should’ve known better than to poke you with a stick, although I’d appreciate if you didn’t take advantage of this situation to use your name in a pun.”
I pouted, as there were so many good choices of inappropriate puns for the situation. “That’s just not fair, Wolfgang.”
“Save them and use them on your brother the next time you speak to him. It’ll drive him wild.”
“No, Wolfgang. There’s no Hope for my brother.”
“Damn it, you!”
I laughed. “Thanks for the assist, Wolfgang. I’ll call you after I’ve made a better game plan.”
“I look forward to it.” He hung up, and I smiled.
Amy wasn’t the only one who could give my brother the run around, and Wolfgang wasn’t the only one looking forward to it.
Five
I enjoyed catching the cheaters.
Some people liked to call Washington D.C. a swamp. As a general rule, I agreed with them. In a place where sketchy politics ruled, accountants could make or break most situations. The good ones ferreted out illegal dealings, the kind of transactions that brought the FBI knocking at a business’s door. Scattered across the United States were firms with one purpose: to check if a company could pass an IRS—or worse, an FBI—audit.
From the instant I’d stepped into college until graduation, I’d made it my goal to be an auditing accountant, the type of person who could learn any secret from an account ledger.
Had I known the reality of the life of an auditing accountant, I would’ve run the other way and done something a little easier, a little saner, and a lot less stressful.
In good news, thanks to my inability to leave well enough alone, I’d acquired the appropriate licenses and certifications to work in Maryland, New York, Delaware, New Jersey, and Virginia, along with the prized ability to be hired by the worst Washington had to offer.
They liked when their accountants understood the nuances of nearby states. The wise ones lived on solid ground, doing their best to forget Washington might flood out on them at any given point in time. The flash flooding had done a good job of reminding people Washington could go for a swim at