my day, my back would probably be the only thing in good shape.
After I checked that my numbers made sense and added up as expected, I gathered a copy for Mat, dumped them in my piece of shit car, and headed over to the wedding venue to retrieve my ball and chain.
The church’s minister, a kind man with a heart of gold, had promised I could use his office to store the ball and chain. He’d even agreed to the stunt, as he viewed Amy’s tendency to run as a symptom of PTSD rather than a serious case of asshole. I’d come to the conclusion my brother had married a serious case of asshole, but it wasn’t my problem.
I wasn’t the one sleeping with her, doing her accounting, or cleaning up her messes, not anymore.
It was not my fault my brother had fallen in love with a thoroughbride. It was my fault for going to extremes, especially in my reaction to him hanging up on me, but I refused to apologize for toeing the line of my breaking point. When he apologized for snapping at me and hanging up, I’d reconsider a few things.
Except my brazen decision to find better waters. I was doing that for me.
Our parents would forgive me eventually.
I recognized part of my problem, which went a long way towards cooling my flared temper: headaches transformed me into an epic asshole on a good day, and it wasn’t a good day.
I arrived at the church, cursed myself for forgetting Sunday meant services, and broke my four-year record of dodging religious ceremonies. Sitting in the back pew and pretending to listen counted. The singing portions of the sermon murdered my poor head, and I regretted my decision to wait inside the church rather than prowl in the parking lot waiting for Pastor Haulette to finish his god’s good work. I survived without making a scene, but it took over an hour for the worshippers to clear out so I could approach the pastor to retrieve my odd property.
“I heard about the baseball, Hope,” he said in way of greeting. “I prayed for you last night.”
“Thank you,” I replied, as my parents—both living and dead—would’ve turned me over their knees and spanked me if I didn’t remain polite to the nice holy man. “It’s doing better today, but I’ve still got quite the headache. I was wondering if I could retrieve the items I left in your office?”
“Of course. I was very impressed with your work yesterday. I had a lot of inquiries about if you would be willing to plan future weddings.”
Once again, Rick had come to my rescue. “I’ve already agreed to help someone plan his wedding, and I can’t do more than one at a time, unfortunately. But I’m really grateful people liked the wedding.”
“It was classy, tasteful, and respectful. You obeyed every rule of the church, as did all of the guests. Your crews did a marvelous job of cleaning up, although some admitted they came at the last minute because of the incident with a baseball.”
“Taking a baseball to the head was not one of the things I’d planned for going wrong,” I admitted. “But next time, I’m definitely going to plan accordingly.”
He chuckled and led me to his office, a modest wood-paneled room with an elegant antique desk, two armchairs, and bookshelves filled with religious texts as the only furnishings. The ball and chain waited for me in the corner, and I cracked my knuckles, ready to prove to the world I meant business. The chain and its padded cuff made an excellent handhold.
Pastor Haulette went to his desk and picked something up. At first, I thought he meant for me to drag the ball and chain on a piece of wood to protect the floors from the iron, but then I realized it had wheels.
Wheels would make everything easier. I put my new muscles to good use, set the ball in place, and gave the chain a firm pull.
The ball rolled in my direction.
“Well, that makes this a lot easier. Thank you so much. I’ll return this later today.”
“Keep it. We have a bunch extra for the kids, and that one’s old. I’m not sure it’ll survive the trip to your car, truth be told. And if it does, I’ll confess they’re rather fun to play with when no one is looking.”
I could use some fun, and my apartment complex had a nice concrete hallway I could roll down if I abandoned