Ruin (Rhodes #1) - Rina Kent Page 0,95

will die too...

“FUCK!” I interrupt my thoughts, my free hand reaching for Mae’s. I massage her frozen skin. There’s nothing I can do except lean closer to her face. My trembling breaths caress her inert skin. “Please don’t leave, Mae. This is a worse fate than anything I’ve experienced.” Wetness stings my eyes, I don’t realise they’re tears until saltiness seeps into my mouth.

What is this feeling? This... this complete vacancy? It’s like having one’s organs plucked one by each bloody one. First the liver, then the pancreas, the lungs, the brain and finally the heart.

I can’t lose Mae. It’s a synonym for losing what remains of myself. What have I done? Why did I bring her to my hell? Why did I have to be so fucking selfish to destroy both of us? Who cares if it’s in my nature?

When the car stops, I dash inside the ER. Soon after, an emergency team surrounds me.

“A cart!” I shout, and the nurses roll a bed towards me.

That’s when I let Mae’s body go, settling it on the cart. Yet, I don’t stand there, I run alongside the nurses and the doctors, barking with a clear voice that doesn’t match my internal chaos. “Female. Early twenties. Blood type A, RH negative. No medical history. No allergy to any medication. Bradycardia, pulse less than 50 and temperature is below 36. She needs perfusion immediately. I applied a tourniquet seven minutes ago to stop the bleeding.”

A doctor glances at me with narrowed eyes. “Are you a—”

“A doctor, do your job!” I shout, shoving him with the rest of the team.

I collapse to the ground, my feet unable to take the weight in my chest. Shaky breaths come in and out of my lungs, asphyxiating it with detergent air. It fucking hurts. More than the asylum. More than my hallucinations. The thought of never seeing her again hurts the most.

Goddammit!

My fist connects with the wall. My knuckles burn, but not enough to extinguish the pain.

Kane stands by my side, his eyes softening at the corners. “We need to go, Sir.”

I know. It’s already risky that I’m sitting here. Soon someone will come snooping and asking questions. But I can’t possibly leave while Mae is—

“She’s stable,” Kane says, his expression of pure relief. “I overheard some of the nurses.” He pauses, glancing sideways then at his watch. “I’ve sent someone to take care of the surveillance cameras. Now, we really need to go.”

My feet are unable to carry me to the car, Kane has to help with that. My mind’s too busy to function straight.

I steal one last look at Mae’s room and walk out of her life.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Mae

Beeping. A horrendous smell of bleach. More beeping.

The material underneath me rubs against my skin in an uncomfortable friction.

I open my eyes. Blurry white greets me, then the shadows morph into walls. I close my eyelids, a strangled moan escapes my lips. Why am I not dead? I should be dead.

“Mae, honey.”

My breath hitches.

Mum? I think I heard Mum’s voice. It sounds so real.

I turn my head to the side. At first, it’s another shadow, but when I squint, Mum comes into view. She sits by my side, smiling warmly, tears falling to her cheeks. Dad is behind her, his usually trimmed hair is hazardous as if he just got out of bed.

How could they be here? Am I hallucinating?

Mum’s hand holds mine, warm and soft, like I remember it.

I try to sit up, and Dad rushes to help me. His aftershave hits my nostrils, tame and calming. My head buzzes like a dissipating fog.

“Mum? Dad?” I whisper, incredulous.

“Yes, honey, it’s us,” Dad says in a strangled voice.

Mum’s embrace crushes me, her flowery perfume wafts around me. Warmth envelops me like a cool summer breeze. Her tears wet my neck. “Oh, honey. I knew you would come back. Even when everyone thought we lost you, I knew my girl wasn’t gone.”

Water saturates my eyes. I release it all and cry into Mum’s embrace. “I missed you.” My voice is strangled. I sob for my fate, for the broken person I’ve become. No matter how hopeless I felt, how could I possibly attempt to take my life? Why didn’t I think of Mum and Dad’s misery? I’m such a horrible daughter. I don’t deserve their smothering