Rugged Cowboy - Elana Johnson Page 0,76
in peace signs, and Jess’s chest constricted every time she thought about the little girl.
“Okay,” Abi said. “But Jess, we’re here for you. Dad is really worried about you.”
“I know.” Jess didn’t know how to make him stop worrying. She paced back to her bed and sat down on it. “I’ll call him. It’s been a few days.” She sighed and rolled her neck, ready to eat dinner, put something on her tablet that would wipe her mind, and go to bed. “I just don’t want to hear his relief when I tell him I broke up with Dallas.”
“He won’t be relieved.”
“Yes, he will,” Jess said. “He didn’t like that Dallas had been to prison. He looked up everything about it online. He also didn’t like that he has kids or has been married before.” She loved her father; she did. He was right to be worried, she supposed.
He’d said, “Marriage is already really hard, Jess.” He’d cut a look at her mom when he said it. “You’re adding two kids to that, plus an ex-wife, plus a man who’s restricted by being a felon.”
His words looped through her head over and over, and she really wished they wouldn’t. Didn’t everyone deserve another chance? People made mistakes, and Dallas had paid for his according to the legal system.
Everyone got to make their own choices, too, and he couldn’t control what Martha had done. He’d given her a second chance at life too—and that was what scared Jess the most. Once Martha got clean, would Dallas prefer to see if they could make their marriage work again? They had two children together, and Jess knew it was better for families to be together rather than split up.
No matter what, she’d have to share those kids with Martha for the rest of her life. Did she really want that?
Jess didn’t know. She knew she wasn’t going to break up with Dallas because of his prison term. She knew better than that; she’d seen so many men get their lives back together and find a new, better, and correct path to be on.
Everyone makes mistakes, she’d told her father. She wondered if she’d made one by breaking up with Dallas without giving their new normal a chance to begin.
“I have to go,” she said to Abi. “Tell everyone hi. Tell them about Dallas. Tell Dad I’ll call him tomorrow.” She didn’t have the fortitude to make another phone call tonight.
“Okay,” Abi said. “We all love you, Jess.”
“I love you all too.” The call ended, and Jess set her phone on her nightstand. She didn’t have the energy or spirit to even go into the kitchen and get something to eat. She’d see Jill and Hannah, and she didn’t want to talk about Dallas.
They were worried about her too, Jess knew. Hannah had brought her a box of Milk Duds yesterday, and Jess opened the top drawer of the nightstand and pulled them out. They’d do for dinner tonight.
She changed out of her work clothes and into something more comfortable. Curling up in bed, she smelled the fresh scent of the dryer sheets on her comforter and snuggled into the mountain of pillows behind her. She just needed an escape for a little while. She’d be fine, if she could just be alone for a while….
“Ho,” she called to the big, black horse she’d just gotten from the horse show she’d attended by herself. Lael Miller, one of the best trainers in Texas, claimed the beast couldn’t be tamed, but Jess had a different opinion. She also hadn’t put herself in the ring with the stallion, because he was free-spirited and absolutely huge.
She’d had Midnight Madness for a few days now, and while she liked working with him, he also challenged her in new ways.
The horse whinnied, and she went up on the fence rails to get more to his height. “You have to stay connected,” she said to him as Midnight ran by again. “Stop tossing your head, or I’m going to make it tighter.”
Sometimes one of the other cowboys would tease her for talking to the horses as if they could understand English. Jess did it anyway, because she believed they could. They could feel her spirit, and they knew she just wanted to help them.
Midnight ducked his head as he trotted away from her, and Jess watched him try to spit the bit. She’d kept him on the second shortest setting for the past two days, and he didn’t seem to