Rugged Cowboy - Elana Johnson Page 0,74
even though it was Christopher’s week.
Jess giggled and conversed with Remmy easily, and there was no awkwardness there at all. So it really was just him.
The three of them worked together and got the house cleaned up in only twenty minutes. “Bedtime, bug,” he said to Remmy, scooping her up and into his arms. She squealed and laughed, and Dallas tickled her as he took her down the hall to her bedroom. He got her all tucked in and leaned down to hug her. “Did you have a good birthday, Remmy?”
“Yeah,” she said with a sigh. “I think seven is going to be such a great year for me, Daddy.” She looked so earnest about it too.
Dallas laughed and clicked off her lamp. “I’m sure it will be, bug. Go to sleep, okay?”
She didn’t answer, and Dallas paused in the doorway. “I love you, Rems.”
“Love you too, Daddy.”
His heart melted as he pulled the door closed. Back down the hall, he found Jess shrugging into her jacket. “You’re leaving?”
“I have a meeting for the horse show at six a.m. in the morning.” She zipped her jacket closed, and Dallas felt her running from him. He quickly crossed the room to the front door and blocked her escape.
She collected the cake platter her concoction had come on, and she didn’t see him until she was on her way toward him. She stopped, her dark eyes blazing now.
“Something’s wrong with us,” he said. “I think we need to figure out what it is, so I can fix it.”
“I don’t need you to fix it,” she said.
“What did I do?”
Jess sighed and looked away. The motion almost made it look like she was rolling her eyes, and Dallas’s exhaustion morphed into further irritation.
“It’s nothing,” Jess said. “Can I just go?”
Dallas didn’t want to make her life harder. He really didn’t. Lord knew he didn’t need more complications in his life right now either. He stepped to the side and opened the door. “If you’d just tell me,” he said quietly. “I could make it right.”
Jess took a couple of steps toward him, and she hesitated close enough to him now that he could smell the sugar on her. The scent of fresh air and horses. Their eyes finally met, and the same powerful pulsing that had always run through Dallas when he was faced with Jess still existed.
“I don’t think you’re ready for there to be a real us,” she said.
“We’ve talked about this already,” Dallas said. Frankly, he was tired of talking about it. Tired of defending himself.
She nodded, absolute misery on her face. His heart started to pound. “I know,” she said. “I just…maybe I’m not ready to be with who you are now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I started to fall in love with the strong, sexy cowboy mechanic who knew exactly what he was doing out on that ranch. The man who was regaining his confidence one tractor at a time, one day at a time as he figured out how to be a single dad. How to juggle parenthood with his job. How to win over a woman.” She shook her head. “I know I’m not making sense.”
She wasn’t, at least not much.
“But, Dallas, that’s not who you are anymore.”
“Who am I?” he asked softly.
“You’re this strong, sexy cowboy mechanic who’s trying to save everyone but himself.”
He blinked, unsure of how to respond.
“You need help, Dallas,” she said. “You do. You can’t singlehandedly save Martha. Or Thomas. Or me, even.”
He wasn’t even aware she needed to be saved, or how he would do it.
“I can go see a counselor,” he said, because he’d already considered that possibility. “We could go together.”
She shook her head. “You could, if you think that would help you get back to who you really are.”
“I know who I really am.” Prison provided a man with a lot of time to contemplate that exact topic.
“Then you need to find him again,” Jess said. “I want him. I want the man I started to fall for.”
“I’m still that man,” he said, desperation rising through him.
“No.” She shook her head. “He got lost in Miami, Dallas, and I haven’t seen him since.” She started walking again. “I’m sorry. I should’ve texted you about the cake, so you weren’t worried.” She kept her back to him, half in his house and half out. “If not for that precious little girl, I wouldn’t have come tonight.”
“Jess.” Dallas stepped over to her, reaching out as if to touch her.