Rugged Cowboy - Elana Johnson Page 0,60
through the house to the rarely-used front porch. Ginger kept a bench there, and Dallas let out a long sigh as he sat down. His hand in hers never wavered, but he took several seconds to breathe before he spoke.
“Jess, the boys and I have to go to Miami.”
“Okay,” she said, her chest vibrating. “Why?”
“We found Martha.” He looked at her. “She’s in a bad way, Jess, and she won’t leave on her own.”
Everything inside Jess laced tight. “What makes you think she’ll go when you get there?”
“She won’t,” he said. “It’s not going to be easy.”
Worry accompanied the tension radiating through Jess. “And then what? You’re going to bring her back here?”
“Yes,” Dallas said. “She needs to be in a drug and alcohol treatment facility, and I’m going to check her into one of those.”
Jess nodded, because she didn’t know what else to say or do. It felt like Dallas was bringing home his mistress and expecting the three of them to live under the same roof.
That made no sense, because it wasn’t like she and Dallas lived together. They weren’t even close to talking about something serious.
The closest they’d come was him asking her if she’d like to get to know his kids better, and that was months ago.
She looked at him, the storm in his soul so easy to see. “Dallas,” she said carefully. “We’re still okay, right?”
“Of course,” he said. “Once I get through this, things will go back to normal.”
Normal. He’d been using that word since Thanksgiving, but Jess honestly didn’t know what it meant anymore.
“I don’t think that’s true,” Jess said slowly. “There will be a new normal, Dallas.” One with Martha in it, and part of Dallas’s attention forever on his ex-wife.
Selfishness strung through Jess. She reminded herself that she’d made the choice to start dating Dallas and get to know his kids. She thought of Remmy and the birthday cake she’d just committed to making. She did love the little girl, and she enjoyed Thomas too. With time, she knew the boy would finally open up to her completely.
“That’s okay,” he said. “I’ve had a lot of new normals, Jess. I’d love to have the chance to build one with you.”
“Is that true?” she asked.
“Of course it is.” He searched her face, trying to find something Jess hadn’t been able to discover herself. “What are you worried about?”
She couldn’t say Martha, and it wasn’t really his ex-wife anyway. Jess felt like she’d just stepped onto a turning point, and what she said next would determine the path of their new normal.
“I’m worried that you aren’t ready for a new normal,” she said. “Because you still have so much from your old normal to tie up. I’m not blaming you.” She spoke softly. “Our relationship is my longest, Dallas. I’m falling for you, and I’m scared that even if you could fall in love with me, that you’re simply not in a place to do it.”
Dallas’s jaw jumped as he pressed his teeth together. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You asked me what I was worried about. That’s what I’m worried about.” Her chest seized as she realized that her fears and concerns about their relationship were one hundred percent true. He hadn’t refuted what she’d said.
“I think we should wait until I do tie up everything,” he said. “And then you can decide if the new normal is what you want.”
She nodded, once again not sure what else to do. She didn’t want to break up with Dallas. He was easily the one single man she’d connected most with in her whole life. Didn’t that mean she could give him more time? More chances?
“I hate to ask this now, but I was hoping you would come stay at my place and take care of the kids while I’m gone.”
Jess jerked her attention back to him. “You want me to take care of your kids?”
“Yes.” He smiled. “Remmy loves you, and you’ll be able to see if you really want to spend more time with them in the new normal.”
“I already know the answer to that, Dallas,” she said.
“Nate said he’d talk to Ginger, and Ted with Emma, to help you.”
“When are you guys going?”
Dallas didn’t answer; instead, he leaned down and kissed Jess. She was aware of the scent of him, the warmth from his body and mouth, and the instant way her heart melted into the kiss.
“I’m going to miss you, Jess,” he whispered, lightly touching his lips to her cheek,