Royal Wedding - Meg Cabot Page 0,63
that might remind him of his arrest, and of course the election and how horrible he looks without his mustache.
He chose a show where a couple is given a choice of either “loving” their newly renovated home, or “listing” it for sale and buying another. He couldn’t stay awake long enough to find out what decision they made (they listed it).
When I was sure he was really asleep, I put a blanket over him (given to me as a birthday present by the Queen of Denmark), which only acted as a magnet for Fat Louie to jump back on top of him and curl up on his chest . . . but even that extra twenty pounds didn’t wake him up. Maybe his crying jag (or the cheesy bread) had been cathartic.
I just texted a photo of the two of them (Dad and cat) to Michael, along with this message:
Hi, hope you’re having fun telling the doctors about your robot legs. You might want to make other plans for later tonight since I don’t know how interested you’re going to be in coming over for volcano time with THIS on my couch. XOXO
Michael texted back:
Why have you left me for a middle-aged band teacher? ;-)
I understand. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.
He signed off with an emoji of a melting snowman.
Poor Michael. Since getting engaged to me, he’s:
1. Had the fact that he was getting married announced to his parents over the radio.
2. Had the small, family-and-friends-only beach wedding we planned turned into a monster affair that will be internationally televised and at which there apparently won’t be mini grilled cheese sandwiches or a mashed potato or a build-your-own taco bar.
3. Lost his apartment to news vans and paparazzi and been forced to live out of a hotel.
4. Discovered his future father-in-law has a secret younger daughter.
As much as I adore Michael and think he’s the type who can weather any storm, I don’t know how much more he can take.
I don’t know how much more I can take either.
After I texted Michael, I texted his sister:
What are you doing?
What am I always doing lately? Memorizing the black letter rules. Thanks for having your wedding a week before New York State holds its bar exam in July, by the way. That is not at all inconvenient for me, nor is it freaking me out in any way.
Sorry, it wasn’t my decision. So, has anyone told you the one about the princess who turns out to have a long-lost sister living in New Jersey?
I am coming over RIGHT NOW.
You can’t.
I sent her the photo I’d texted Michael.
Why is there a dentist from Scottsdale, Arizona, sleeping on your couch?
He shaved. He’s upset that I found out about that thing I mentioned, and is basically having a midlife crisis.
Give me the 411 about that thing you mentioned and I’ll LexisNexis her.
English, please.
God, you are such a princess. It’s the database we use to access legal and business documents online. I just need her name and city of birth.
A “dossier” on her was already prepared by the RGG.
And I’m sure Grandma’s dossier was very thorough. Now it’s time to let Big Lilly take charge.
Lilly, the RGG is a military organization that has been in existence since the 1200s.
Oh, yeah, and they’ve done a great job catching your stalker.
Fine. Olivia Grace Clarisse Mignonette Harrison, Cranbrook, NJ.
Delete this message.
Done. One moment please while I research. Here is some soothing music for while you wait. “A Million Stars” by Boris P.
Not funny.
Quiet please, processing.
You know Tina is still in love with him.
HA! She would be.
She doesn’t have a heart made of stone like you do.
THERMOPOLIS!! YOU WERE SERIOUS!!! YOU HAVE A $!$T5R!
Yes, I know, I just told you that.
Well, what are you going to do about it?
I don’t know.
GO GET HER, Liam Neeson in Taken style.
She’s only 12 and not in any known danger of being sold into sex slavery.
You need to get to know her and instruct her in the ways of the princess force.
That’s not a thing.
It is, actually, I’ve seen it in action. Also, she needs to be your flower girl at your wedding to my brother.
How do you even know what one of those is? I thought you hated weddings!
Only other people’s, not yours to my brother. Actually, she’s too old to be a flower girl.
Wait, how do you know how old flower girls are supposed to be?
Nothing. I don’t.
Lilly! Have you secretly been watching all those