Practice ends, and I sit on the ledge of the cement wall outside the doors of the building. The sun has started to descend behind the trees, giving me a great sunset view.
The whole day runs through my head—my fears, my parents’ approval, Crosby’s kisses, Crosby being a part of a team. Things seem to be in an upswing for both of us, but I fear a shoe will drop.
Wasn’t it only two years ago when I held the perfect life, a life most were envious of? Then, bam, it ended with my shredded heart.
The doors push open, and the guys are razzing Ollie about what he’ll be wearing on Saturday night. They emerge, and Crosby searches for me. Our eyes meet and lock, and a melting smile lazily crosses his lips.
“Hey,” he says, his hand already moving up to caress my cheek.
“Hey.”
“We’re going to study lab. We’ll catch you two later.” Brax walks backward, winking over to Crosby.
“Make an excuse for me?” Crosby asks.
Brax gives him a thumbs-up.
The boys file into Brax’s pickup and drive off.
“Did you guys make some sort of agreement?” I ask.
He takes his hands, urging my legs to open to make room for him. My breathing hitches, and my fingers loop in the belt buckles of his worn-in jeans.
“I had to have you alone.”
He lowers his head, kissing my lips, and my eyes close, my body giving in to him.
Our lips brush, and our heads turn. Crosby presses harder, slipping in his tongue for a brief second. He backs up faster than I’d prefer.
“We need to get out of here before Coach comes out. If he finds out I didn’t go to study lab, he’ll have my ass.” He places his hands under my arms, helping me to jump down.
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to get in trouble,” I argue.
But he doesn’t respond to my question. He only drags me to his truck, throws his bag in the back, and opens the passenger door for me.
“Crosby?”
“Shh…we both need this.”
Yeah, we do.
Shutting my door, he rounds the hood of his truck and slides into his side, starting the ignition and backing up.
The five-minute drive to his house is excruciating, and I almost text Jen to tell her to get out of the house, but when we pull in the driveway, her car isn’t there.
“El”—he turns off the ignition, holding the keys in his palm, and he looks over at me—“you’re in control tonight. If you don’t want to, I’ll never rush you. I might be walking around with blue balls, but I’ll survive.”
A smile plays at his lips. His sincerity isn’t lost even if he knows I’m not about to deny his advances.
“I’m not sure I will survive either,” I say.
His head falls back to the headrest. “Thank fuck because I seriously don’t know if I can go another day without being inside you.” He springs the door open and is at my door a millisecond later.
We walk into the house, hand in hand, and the door closes. We don’t jump on each other. Instead, Crosby drops his bag by the coat rack. He takes my hand again, and step by step, he leads me up to his room.
My heart pounds. It was years ago when we were last together. We were each other’s firsts. I’m sure he’s had other girls who were better than me. Sure, we’d experimented after our first time together, but no way could I have held a candle to some of these girls.
Liam was more about missionary and nothing else. His idea of excitement was me being on top. It was always the same flow—hands on my breasts and maybe venturing down to my pussy, depending on time.
Why is Liam in my head right now?
Crosby is standing in front of me. Currently, we are stopped outside his door, and his hand is on the doorknob.
“Stop whenever you want,” he reminds me.
I wish I could assure him that I’m eager to have him again. I never felt closer to Crosby than when he would stare into my eyes while moving in and out of me. The pleasure and the love pouring from his eyes allowed me to open myself up to him .
“You don’t have to worry about that.” I cover his hand on the knob, slowly turning it with him. “I want you, Crosby Lynch.”
The door opens, and we stumble in. His hands catch my hips, and his feet shuffle us to the wall until my