Roses Are Red - Miranda Rijks Page 0,62

to her? Is the school secretary holding something back from me? If she was hurt or ill, the woman would have told me, wouldn’t she? I want to scream. How am I going to concentrate when I’m worried about my girl?

I take a very deep breath, pull my shoulders back and walk onto the set. The lights are glaring and warm, and Andrew is already there looking at the knitting machine. The runner pushes an earphone into my ear.

‘Long face, Lydia,’ Andrew says, pulling the corners of his mouth up. But I can’t look at Andrew; my eyes are drawn to the machine on the presenting table.

‘What the hell?’ I exclaim. This isn’t a Knit It Qwik. This machine is bright pink and has the wording NitNakNok emblazoned on it.

‘This is the wrong product!’ I turn to Andrew and wave at the producer. ‘This is a screw-up!’

‘You’re on air in five. Four. Three. Two. One. On air.’

‘Good morning, everyone! Welcome, Lydia! What crafting wonder have you got for us today?’

My heart is thumping so hard I can hear it pounding in my ears. I wonder if I can even speak. How the hell am I going to get this machine to work? I’ve never seen it before, and it looks nothing like the Knit It Qwik, which I’ve swotted up on.

‘Good morning, Andrew. Good morning, everyone,’ I say, amazed that my voice sounds relatively normal. ‘I’m thrilled to be here.’

‘What is this unusual-looking machine, Lydia?’ Andrew asks, running his hands over the top of it.

‘We have here a knitting machine. It lets you knit things up super quickly, but unlike earlier versions on the market, this isn’t cheap and plasticky, and it won’t fall to pieces nor is it super expensive or very complicated.’ It is extremely plasticky looking to me and a lurid pink.

‘Exactly. And at £185 it is discounted by twenty percent off its normal retail value. But you won’t find this just anywhere, will you, Lydia?’

‘Um, no. We have exclusivity here on BUYIT TV.’ A little voice bellows inside my head. Do we? I don’t know anything about this damn machine.

‘So, Lydia, what are you going to make us today?’

‘I thought I’d knit up a quick cushion to show you how easy it is.’

I lift up a ball of lurid yellow yarn that is lying next to the machine and attempt to thread it. All the while Andrew is gushing how these machines are selling out fast and what amazing homemade presents you’ll be able to make if you purchase one.

But I can’t thread it. The mechanism is totally different to the Knit It Qwik. I turn the crank and there’s a loud crunching sound.

‘What the fuck!’ the producer yells in my ear. I can feel blood rushing to my face and pray that the heavy coat of foundation will block it out.

I cannot afford to screw this up, but if I don’t know how to use the machine, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I think of Ajay. I think of our staff and everyone who is relying on me to do a good sales job. And then I think of Mia, and I want to run off the set right now.

‘Lydia?’ Andrew says.

‘So last night, I made some fabulous cushion covers. And it would be super easy to make a jumper, knitting flat panels up in a couple of hours. This really is the easiest and quickest way to make fantastic garments that look as if they’ve been handknit, but can be made in a fraction of the time.’

‘Can you show us how it works, Lydia?’ Andrew asks.

‘Well, I’m not as familiar with this machine as I should be, so…’

‘Cut!’ the producer screams in my ear. ‘Andrew, onto the next item.’

‘Next up, we have a fabulous embroidery kit. You can sew up your own cushions in these incredible and unique designs. And look how divine this is.’

‘Lydia, get off the set,’ the producer says. ‘Away from camera three.’

I bite my bottom lip as I slip away off the set. The runner grabs my earpiece. Everyone else is ignoring me. That was an unmitigated disaster. I doubt if we made a single sale, and if we don’t sell our products, then BUYIT TV will delist us and we’ll lose a lucrative sales channel. Why was the wrong machine on set?

Back in the dressing room, I call Lucinda, my sales contact, who is a couple of floors down in this building.

‘What the hell just happened? I