The Rose & the Dagger (The Wrath and the Dawn #2) - Renee Ahdieh Page 0,52

a handle. In that moment, the not-so-young man understood. So he sat beside his tribe . . . and began weeping.”

The silence stretched thin for a time. “Why did you choose that particular story?” Khalid finally asked.

Another stretch of silence. “Sometimes . . . I worry I want too much,” Shahrzad said.

“It’s not possible. For you deserve everything you want and more.”

She shifted to rest her chin on his shoulder, causing Khalid to wince.

“Does it hurt that much?” Her concern was all too evident.

A part of Khalid knew he should lie to spare Shahrzad worry. But he simply did not see the point. To him, lies rarely served their intended purpose. Except in necessitating more lies.

“Yes,” Khalid admitted. “But I’ll live.”

“I have something that might help.” Shahrzad placed a suggestive kiss in the middle of his back.

Despite the siege in his forehead, Khalid considered her offer. Her dark hair was a shining veil against his shoulder. The smell of rain clung to every curl. Even now, he could picture the way her lips parted when he kissed the hollow at her throat. The way her soft breath washed across his skin. The way her slim hands—

Khalid almost groaned in defeat. “I am more than willing, but I believe we’ve tried that remedy tonight. More than once.”

Another lilting spate of laughter filled the air. She slid off his back, leaving him cold. Khalid cracked open his eyes to see Shahrzad step to her pile of discarded garments.

When she returned, she held a square of green stone in her palm, strung onto a leather string. “It’s a talisman. Musa-effendi said it might help to ward away your sleeplessness.”

“Musa-effendi?” Khalid rolled over in protest. The last thing he desired was a gift from the cowardly magus he’d known as a boy. The coward who’d stood by and watched his mother drown in her own blood.

“Enough.” Shahrzad raised a hand to his chest, staying his objections. “Take help when it is offered, Khalid-jan. True strength isn’t about sovereignty. It’s about knowing when you need help and having the courage to accept it.”

Though his eyes burned, Khalid studied her as she spoke. As though he were forming an imprint, forever indelible in his mind. Her impudent chin. Her jewel eyes and vagabond hair. No one could deny that Shahrzad was beautiful. But it was not simply her beauty that captivated Khalid beyond compare.

It was the way she carried herself with such poise.

Such strength.

“You’re very wise, Shahrzad al-Khayzuran. Perhaps you should rule Khorasan. And leave me to languish in your chamber, until you have need of me.”

“Perhaps I should.” She lay alongside him. “But I was not born a boy.”

“I’ve long thought such a thing should not matter.” Khalid draped one of her legs around his.

“Will you at least see if the talisman works?”

In place of a response, Khalid buried his face in her dark waves, taking in the fragrance of lilacs and rain. She blew an exasperated puff of air above his head.

“You—”

“I’ll try it,” he said into her neck. “Now go to sleep.”

Shahrzad turned away from him, burrowing into the crook of his arm.

“Khalid?”

He fought back the beginnings of a smile. “Yes?”

“You don’t need to say you love me. I know you do. But . . . may I ask why you won’t?”

Though it was posited nonchalantly, Khalid felt the beat of Shahrzad’s heart between her shoulder blades. Felt it quicken. And it pained him to know he’d given her cause to doubt his affections. But he’d known for some time that he owed her an explanation.

In truth, he owed her much more than that.

Of course she wanted to know why. She was a girl who freely spoke her mind and generously bestowed her sentiments on those she found deserving. After all Khalid had done—and everything he’d failed to do—it would forever amaze him that she still found him to be one of the deserving.

Khalid pulled her closer. “At Ava’s grave, I swore I would spend my life showing those I loved how I felt, and never resorting to words. I promised I would do for others what I’d failed to do for her. Not to profess love. But instead to act upon it.”

They lay in silence for a time. Though he was unable to see her reaction, Khalid knew she was thinking. Knew she was taking his promise into consideration.

Perhaps it was foolish of him to hold fast to it. A promise to a girl who no longer lived. A girl who had