over again how much I love her. She kisses my forehead. “I love you, honey.”
Karen stares at Remi. “Are you friends with Syd?”
Remi’s eyes widen and she stutters out, “I-I… no? Maybe?”
“She’s Sadie’s friend,” I’m quick to add as I push them toward the door, because Tatum is watching us. No way I’m ever going to say anything derogatory about Collin in front of her.
Before I know it, I’m drinking wine with my dead husband’s mistress. Just another Saturday night checking shit off my “never ever did I think this would be my life” list. And let me tell you, it’s getting pretty fucking short at this point.
A slow pitch that is meant to look much faster. There are different variants of changeups.
SYDNEY
Who the fuck had I married? Did I even know him at all? This is exactly the kind of shit you see on Unsolved Mysteries, and everyone says he was such a nice guy, and then you find out he had twenty dead bodies in a freezer.
Shit. I should go into the basement and check the freezers.
Maybe tomorrow. I can only handle one shitstorm a day, and I’ve met my max now.
Do you know what you get when you add a bottle of wine—okay, two—a batch of pot brownies (thank you, Sadie) and a mom who’s lost her ability to give a shit?
No filter.
Thankfully, Tatum is no longer home, and I can get drunk without having to worry about her drawing shit on the white couch in our living room.
At some point, “Let’s go out” is thrown out there by Sadie. I’m sure it was Sadie, or maybe it was me. I don’t recall the specifics because, again, wine. And brownies.
Now I’m in my closet looking for something to wear to a club Sadie and Remi know about. My stomach rolls as I try to keep it together. Or maybe it’s the brownies? I’ve never been good on marijuana. It makes me want to puke and eat. Both at the same time. It’s like that with all drugs for me. I experimented in college, but my roommate, she took it too far. She’d been addicted to Adderall because she wanted to stay focused. Though it sounded appealing, a drug to help keep you focused and alert, but Madysen became the example of what not to do. She started mixing the Adderall with cocaine, and then Xanax on top of that because the cocaine made her nervous and anxious. Also, she claimed our toaster was haunted.
Forget the fact that she was hallucinating. Mixing an upper and a downer, that, my homies, is called speedballing.
What the fuck does that have to do with anything?
Your husband dying, and then finding out he’s a lying cheating bastard, that’s like mixing uppers and downers. I’m straight up speedballing.
I whip my closet door open and find all three girls sitting on my bed. Apparently, we’re friends with Remi now. She’s chatting it up with Nahla like they’ve known each other for months.
“I can’t afford to go out,” I tell them. My face is so hot I think it’s baking something in the oven. It is… my blood pressure.
“If you need money, I can give it to you,” Nahla tells me, holding up a pair of jeans and a black top sure to show cleavage. It’s slutty, and probably exactly what I should wear to have a one-night stand. It’s the shirt that, every time I wore it, Collin asked me who I was dressing up for. It’s perfect. I hope he turns over in his grave thinking about it. Might be harsh.
I think, and this is the wine talking, I need to get fucked to forget about my life. I’ll regret it tomorrow, but tonight, I’m all in. Load the bases, bitches. I’m going out.
I take the dress off the hanger. “I’m not taking your money.”
Sadie holds out her hand. “I’ll take some. I’m a broke college student.”
Nahla ignores her.
“Do you mind if I come with you guys?” Remi asks, looking about as fragile as I am inside. “I don’t have many girlfriends.”
“But you had my husband,” I mumble and lock eyes with her. “Did you have sex with him on my bed?”
Her eyes widen. “No way.” She holds up her palms to me. “I swear to baby Jesus. I didn’t even know where he lived.”
Baby Jesus? Who the hell is this chick?
Pushing out a breath, I sneak behind my closet door and regret it. The jeans are so fucking tight. “I can’t even