who’d raised my daughter. And before you whine that you’re her dad too, I know. You’re not some stand-in or temporary fix. You’re her dad, and she loves you like a dad.”
Gray nodded three or four times, not as if agreeing but as if the motion helped him pull himself together. “Thank you. It’s hard, and I’m scared as shit that one day you’ll decide I’m not relevant and take her away.”
“I’d never take her away from someone who makes her so happy, and if we’re sharing shit like we’re on Dr. Phil or something, I’m scared to death that she comes to stay with me only because she feels obligated, not because she wants to. That when I come home, instead of making things better, I disrupt everyone’s plans and I’m scared that at some point she’ll come to resent me.” He held up a hand. “And I see you itching to drop some serious medical knowledge on me, but before you go all doctor on my ass, I’m talking to my co-parent right now.”
“Understood. Reeling it back in,” Gray said. “First, as a co-parent, thanks for initiating this conversation. I’d like to think I’m man enough that eventually I would have broached it with you, but I’m not sure. Which takes me immediately into the second thing, because I don’t want to give you a chance to ask me to repeat that you’re the bigger man. Is this why you want to get back to work? Because you feel that there isn’t room for you here?”
“I wouldn’t have worded it like that, but yeah. The first time I walked in to meet my kid, I thought I’d find this little girl whom I was going to raise and love and who would need me to teach her how to ride a bike or throw a punch. Instead, I walked into a ready-made family, with Levi in the role of surrogate dad and you firmly entrenched as stepdad. With three already established parents, Paisley wanted for nothing. There wasn’t anything she needed that she couldn’t get from you guys.”
“No matter how hard we tried, we could never give Paisley the kind of love she gets from you. We all love her, but the love from each of us feels different to her, and she needs all of it to feel complete.”
“If you really mean that, then after I lay this story to rest, I want to talk about the possibility of her spending more time at my house,” Emmitt said. “That’s why I want to get this story done. I admit, when I first got here, I just wanted to get back to China, because I hate leaving things open ended, especially with the promises I made to the families I met there. But after a while, I started to see what I was missing out on and began to fall into a rhythm with you guys and with Paisley—”
“And Annie?”
“Annie and I had a rhythm the second we met,” he said, shocking not only Gray but himself. “And I don’t want to lose the ground I’ve gained with anyone here. You were right—it’s not your job to keep me in the know. I need to be in touch more. I don’t ever want to come home and feel like I’m clueless about my kid and her life, or feel like I’ve been left out of the important stuff. I missed her first step, first word, hell, nearly all her firsts. I’m going to work hard not to miss any more.”
“We never meant to leave you out,” Gray said, and Emmitt let the reference to “we” slide off his back. “And if you’re willing to keep in touch with me, then I’ll do my best to keep you in the loop on what happens when you’re on assignment.”
“I’d love to be able to work locally like you and Levi, but that’s not an option. So I’ve been thinking of a compromise. As soon as I finish this story, which I can do from here, I’m going to cut back on some of the travel and start taking assignments that are a little closer to home.”
“Are you serious?”
“Talking to Paisley made me realize that the only way we’re going to get through the next few years is to tackle it together.
“Hey—” Emmitt stuck out his hand. “I’m Paisley’s dad, and I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for her. I look forward to sharing this amazing kid with