"I see. As we discussed during the interviews, we went to great lengths to match up partners we felt would complement each other and connect on a deep level."
"He's a millionaire rock star who's covered in tattoos. His hair is longer than mine. He drinks alcohol, he eats meat, he smokes, he drinks soda, and he seems to be preoccupied with sex and everything big. That being said, he's admitted he's not attracted to me, and he was boning all sorts of women right up until about four weeks before the wedding. Have you met me? None of that is what I wanted in a husband. I'm not exactly happy about any of this. This is worse than the dating disasters I was already experiencing."
Dr. Hollister is scribbling like a madwoman in her notebook. "And how do you feel about him?"
"I just went over that. He's nothing like what I expected or wanted, and he feels the same way toward me."
She peers at me over her glasses through the laptop. "I heard all of that, but I want to know, despite all that, do you like him? Are you attracted to him? Any sort of feelings happening?"
"I kinda like him. He's funny. And he has moments of extreme sweetness that are quick but notable. He seems to very generous, and I do like that. He let me have the bed last night, and he slept on the couch."
"So you didn't sleep together? Is it safe to assume you did not have sexual relations?"
Jesus. Why did I agree to this? This probing is embarrassing and unnatural and just so awkward.
"No. I don't feel comfortable having sex with him yet. I need there to be some feelings first. I thought there would be, but it's just not there right now."
"Understandable. And you opted to postpone the honeymoon?"
"Yes."
"There can be no more separate sleeping. You're married, not roommates. You can wait to have intercourse, but I'm going to insist you sleep in the same bed. It helps build a bond."
"Are you serious? That's going to be very awkward," I protest.
"I understand, but that's part of the experiment."
"Fine. I'll talk to him about it tonight."
She looks over her notes and then back up at the camera. "How about living arrangements?"
"Right now we are staying in his grandmother's guesthouse. He contacted a Realtor. He wants to actually buy a house."
"That's a positive step, and it shows he is taking this seriously. I can tell you're stressed out, Asia. Just try to relax and let things happen, okay? This is all part of the process. We really didn't expect the couples to fall in love at first sight."
Letting out a deep breath, I nod. "You're right. It's just harder than we thought."
"Stay positive—and open-minded. Remember to write in your journal, and we'll chat next week. If you're feeling extra stressed, you can text or call me at any time. I don't want you to feel alone or be too overwhelmed, but I also want you to talk to him about your feelings as much as possible."