He hesitates for a moment and then just turns and leaves. His footsteps pound down the stairs, and the front door squeaks opens, then closes. His car door slams and then backs out of our driveway, the headlights flashing across the bedroom windows.
And he’s gone. Just like that.
I sit on the bed, staring at the wall in a daze, until the sun comes up, wondering what the heck just happened.
LUKAS
INSOMNIA IS A BULLY OF THE worst kind. Pushing me. Shoving me. Laughing in my face. Waiting ’til I feel safe and then kicking me in the skull. I fight back, but we all know how this story goes—the bully wins.
So I lay awake, staring at my cathedral ceiling and feeling uncomfortable in my own bed. Not just because I can’t sleep, but because there’s a chick next to me that I know I’m never going to sleep with again. I want to love her. I should love her. She’s cute and tiny with a banging body and long silky black hair with blue highlights. Her eyes are like fucking sapphires, and she has a giggle that sounds like a demented elf. She’s a musician, like me, so she gets me. She knows when to stay and when to go away, and she sucks me like I’m a cherry lollipop.
There’s just one thing that’s wrong.
Rolling over toward me, her lips press against my cheek. “You’re so much nicer in bed than Vandal ever was.” I feel her lips turn into a smile as she snuggles against my shoulder.
Yup. That’s the thing that’s wrong—she slept with my older brother a few times. Actually, I’m pretty sure sleeping wasn’t involved at all while he had her tied to his bed being vandalized, as he so nicely puts it. Even though I’ve tried, I just can’t get that out of my head. I don’t want to be second choice, or get my brother’s leftovers. Who would want to always be compared to his brother? I don’t want to be with a woman that Vandal has seen naked and violated. I want someone that’s just . . . mine.
I sit up, slowly untangling myself from her, and try to find my clothes in the dark room.
“Where you going?” Her hand lands on my back, her voice drowsy as she fights off sleep.
I turn toward her, dreading that I’m going to upset her, but I feel like the band-aid ripping approach is probably best.
“Rio, I can’t do this anymore,” I say softly.
“Do what?”
“This. Us.”
Bolting up, she holds the sheet against her naked chest. “Why?” Her bright blue eyes darken.
“I really like you. You’re one of my best friends . . . it’s just not going past that for me. I wish it was.”
Her usually pretty face falls into a sad frown. “Lukas . . . I love being with you. Maybe we just need some more time. Don’t think about it going any further, just let it happen.”
I slowly shake my head. “I won’t do that to you.” Standing, I pull on my jeans. “I’m sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
“That’s what I love most about you,” she says wistfully. “You’re the only one that actually cares and doesn’t treat me like a toy.”