I sit down on the toilet lid while she takes over my messy situation. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before,” she says softly.
I reach for a tissue and wipe my eyes with it. “I know. I just didn’t think it would be so hard. The girl at the store made it sound easy. She just said mix this stuff, put it on, and rinse. She never said it was going to get all sticky. I thought it would just go on like conditioner.”
“Don’t worry. I’m gonna make sure it looks gorgeous.”
“Are you home early?” I ask, not sure what time it is. How long have I been in here messing with my hair?
“No, I get home at two every day. I was worried when I saw your car in the driveway.”
For the first time, I see my daughter as a grown up, easing my fears as she works on my hair, telling me about her day as we wait for the color to process, then walking me to the kitchen sink to rinse the color off.
“Do you think it’s going to look okay?” I ask her, still worried about what color it’s going to be.
“I think it’s going to be awesome, Mom. I’m going to get some cold cream. You have the color all over your neck.” She runs to the bathroom while I wonder what that means. “You’re supposed to put cream around your face and neck because the hair dyes your skin, too,” she says when she comes back.
I’m pretty sure I turn white. “What? Are you serious? The girl didn’t mention that.”
“Yes, it’s all over your face and the side of your neck.”
“Oh, shit. Can you get it off?”
She laughs. “Mom, you never swear. What’s going on with you? Crying and swearing? Dying your hair?” She uses a cotton pad to wipe cream along my forehead. “Is this about Dad? Did something happen?”
I shake my head. “No, nothing happened.”
She continues to scrub at my face and neck. “You have your tattoo appointment tonight, don’t you?” she asks, quirking a perfect eyebrow up at me.
“Yes, so?”
She stands back and looks at me. “I think you’re going to have to take a shower to get the rest of that off, and maybe use some witch hazel. I’ve used that before to get it off.”
“All right.” I look up at the clock to see that its three pm. My appointment is at six, so I still have enough time to shower and eat without being late.
She throws away the cotton and rinses out the sink. “Mom. It’s okay for you to have fun, ya know.”
“Macy-”
She interrupts me. “I’ve seen you smiling at your cell phone. I saw the new clothes in the living room. You don’t have to hide from us. Tommy and I want you to be happy.”