“There’s more to life than sex.”
She raises her eyebrows at me. “Is there?”
“I want more than that, Amy. You know that.”
“Ev! He’s giving you more than that! He’s been sending you cute little text messages with smiley faces for two weeks! Who the hell does that? He took care of you while you were sick with the flu and looked like ass! He’s making a big effort here, and trust me—that is rare, honey.”
“Yeah, but why is he doing it? Don’t you think it’s an act?”
I push my salad around on my plate, my appetite still not back to what it was a month ago. I’m not sure if it’s from being sick or just my nerves being shot to hell.
“I don’t think he would go through this much effort just to put on an act to get down your pants. What would be the point? He can pretty much get any girl he wants. The dude dates models, actresses, and porn stars. If he didn’t really like you, he wouldn’t be wasting all this time, now would he? Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
Ugh. Models, actresses, and porn stars. Like I needed to be reminded of all of that.
“Evelyn, let’s get serious for a moment.” She pushes her plate away from her and leans her elbow on the table. “You know I love you like a sister. I love Michael, too. But you guys seem to have outgrown each other. He doesn’t make you laugh or take you out. He’s never home anymore. He’s completely thrown himself into work and playing golf. And that’s okay. He has every right to follow his goals. But what about your goals and dreams? You want to get married and have a baby. You want someone who makes you laugh. You want someone who will snuggle on the couch with you and watch funny movies. You need someone who will take care of you and be patient with you, but also be able to get you out of your own head. And, after years of boring, unfulfilling sex, I think a part of you is waking up and wanting a little more. Some adult romance. Some wild sex.”
“Amy!”
“It’s true, Evelyn.” She finishes off her wine. “This isn’t easy for me to say, but I have to because I love you. And I hope you don’t take this wrong because it will kill me, sweetie. I think a big part of you holding on to Michael is because he was there with you when your parents died. Your parents knew him. They liked him. I think the thought of being with a man who your parents never met scares you. I think you’re scared to move on. I know it’s scary for you to let go of someone else, Evelyn. You’ve dealt with a lot of losses. But I think you might have to be brave and let go of the security you feel with Michael and give someone else a chance or else you are going to end up miserable. I know your mom would never want you to be in an unhappy relationship. She would want you to be with someone who excites you, and takes care of you, and sends you cute little smiley faces.”
I let out a big sigh and fidget in my chair. I hate when she is always right.
“You’re right... I know you are. I’m just scared. It’s so hard to picture starting over, giving up twelve years, just so much change... I love Mike, and I know he loves me, but you’re right, we’ve become more friends and roommates. I’m not even sure when or how we got like that. I think we kind of went into denial. I really thought we would get married, have a family... and now, my head is all fucked up with Storm. I mean, I’ve only known him two weeks, but we just have this connection. But honestly, Amy, how am I supposed to even think about being in a relationship with someone like him? He travels, he sleeps around, he has money, he has women crawling all over him, and he’s amazingly sexy, he’s practically living on a different planet compared to me. How do I fit into that? I’m just little boring me. I can’t see it lasting... but he’s just so persistent that we should give it a try. I don’t know what to do.”
I can’t look at her because I know I will start to cry, and I’m afraid I might not be able to stop. She reaches across the table and holds my hand.
“I’ll always be here for you, Ev. You’re not going to be alone, I promise you. No matter what happens, I will be right here and go through it with you. Stop stressing out so much and thinking you’re not good enough for him or that you won’t fit. He’s a big boy. He knows what he wants. “
“How did I get so lucky to have you as my best friend?” A tear slides down my cheek that I quickly brush away.
“We’re both lucky. You’ve gotten me through the worst shit ever, too. Now, I want you to get your head together, okay? Allow yourself to find happiness. And ya know what? It might not last forever and that’s okay. The important part is that you’re happy and not spending your life in hiding. Now, I have to get back to work, but I can’t wait ‘til New Years to see the band play and meet Storm in person finally. Maybe he’ll autograph my boob.”
“That’s not even funny.”
I have a text from Storm waiting for me when I get back to my car.