“I forgot about your car, sorry. It’s been a long day.” Michael looks so... ordinary to me all of a sudden. Short brown hair, spiked a little in the front. Light baby blue eyes. He’s about five-eight and has an average body. Storm was so interesting to look at, like a piece of walking artwork. I quickly shake him out of my head.
“I can take your car and go get us Chinese food,” I suggest.
“Yeah, baby, that would be great. Get the usual and I’ll take a shower. By the time you get back, I’ll be done.” I watch him walk away and disappear down the hallway toward the bathroom. I was really hoping he would have offered to go get the food. He can see I’m sitting here in yoga pants and I just woke up.
I place our usual order by phone and then go pick it up. I feel sort of strange driving, and even a little bit nervous. Maybe the ordeal had a bigger effect on me than I thought. By the time I get back home and pull into my parking spot, I’m in the beginning of a panic attack. I rush inside and throw the food bag on the coffee table and sit on the couch as the dizziness comes over me. I pray I don’t start to have anxiety attacks every time I have to drive now. That is the last thing I need to complicate my life even more.
“Why are you just sitting there?” Michael asks. He’s toweling off his hair, wearing pajama bottoms and a gray t-shirt. He throws the wet towel on the recliner and picks up the bag. “Let’s eat, I’m starving. Did you set the table?”
I try to calm my breathing. “No... I just got back. I’m having a panic attack.”
“Evelyn, come on. Now what?” he says from our tiny kitchen. “Stop it and let’s eat. I’m tired. I’ve been on a plane all day, remember?”
“Michael, did you forget I was trapped in a blizzard with a total stranger for two days? I could have died. I was in two car crashes in less than an hour and then nearly froze in the back of some weird guy’s truck with some huge ass dog! I think I’m just a little bit stressed from all of it.”
I hear him clanking dishes around. “No, I didn’t forget, and I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I was worried sick about you. But you’re home now and you’re fine that’s all that matters. Now, come in here and eat. Dwelling on it is only going to make it worse. Did you take one of your pills?”
I join him in the kitchen and sit down, burying my face in my hands. I feel like I’m going to faint. He puts a glass of water in front of me. “Drink this. You’re probably dehydrated and hungry.”
I take a few sips of water and stare at him across the table. He’s piling chicken and broccoli onto his plate, barely paying attention to me. He hates when I have panic attacks because he believes I bring them on myself and can stop them at will. Even though, he’s watched me have them for twelve years, he still can’t see I really can’t prevent them from happening.
I spoon some vegetable fried rice onto my plate. Even though, I’m starving, I don’t feel like I can eat.
“How was your meeting?” I ask him, hoping to distract myself.
“The usual bullshit. I think we got the account though, so that’s good. We’re going to be rolling out a new line of software starting next month. Remember, I told you the programmers were almost done? They finally got their shit together so now we’re ready to sell it. I’m going to have to travel a bit more over the next few months while I demo this to our existing customers to try to get them to upgrade.”
I nod and swallow my food. “Okay. That sounds great, though. About the new software.”
“It is. I should be getting a higher commission too. Maybe in a year or so, we can get out of this condo and get something bigger.”
That perks me up a bit. I have wanted to get out of this condo for a while now and move into a nice house with a pretty yard. Maybe Michael will finally want to get married at some point, too.
“That would be great. I’m really excited for you, Mike. I know how hard you’ve worked for this.”
He bites into his eggroll and starts talking with his mouth full. “Don’t start looking at houses yet or getting crazy ideas, Evelyn. It’s probably going to be a while before we can do any of that.”