Roman - Lane Hart Page 0,37
“For now, Roman is letting me crash with him since he rents out the beach house by the week and needed us out.”
“Right,” she replies. “And that’s the only reason you’re staying with him?”
“Yep.” I try to quickly sip my tea, but I can feel Tessa staring at me, reading the slight blush on my cheeks.
“Come on, Charlotte! Talk to me. I’m bored, and just because I don’t think I’ll ever let a man touch me again doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear about you and Roman.”
“You don’t mean that, do you? You really don’t want Paul to ever touch you again?”
“I really don’t,” she replies with a sigh. “That’s why I’m cancelling the wedding. He deserves to be with a nice girl, one who wants to be kissed and touched.” She hesitates before asking, “So, how did he take the news?”
“Oh, I, ah, haven’t told him yet.”
“Charlotte!” she exclaims. “He needs to tell everyone!”
“I wanted to make sure you didn’t change your mind before I went and made it official.”
“I’m not going to change my mind. I swear. Please tell the man and cancel what you can to try and save him as much money as possible. I don’t know what will happen with Paul and I down the road, but right now…Charlotte, I can’t do it. I can’t be with him, can’t be touched, can’t be fretted over. I need time, time I won’t have with a wedding…time I won’t have with Paul.”
“Fine. I’ll tell him after I leave today. Him and his brother are packing up their things at the beach house.”
“Tell him to go home and call the wedding off once and for all,” Tessa says. “I still can’t believe you left the beach house to crash with a hot biker. Have you two slept together yet?”
“We have slept in the same bed, but that’s it. Oh, and kissed a little.”
“What’s holding you back? I’m the one who is fucked up in the head about sex now, not you.”
“I know, and I want to,” I tell her. “It’s just…Roman would be my first after Adam, so only the second man I’ve ever been with. I guess maybe I’m afraid that being with Roman will make me forget Adam completely.”
“So you would rather be alone with your old memories than with a sexy man who looks like he has a Ph.D. in giving orgasms and a Masters in the art of cunnilingus?”
“Tessa!” I exclaim.
“What? I may be broken, but I can still appreciate the male species from afar.”
“You are not broken!”
“Charlotte, please. I can’t even stand to look at myself naked in the mirror before a shower. How will I ever let a man see me like that again?”
“Oh, I don’t know, honey, but I hope you’ll find a way. And who knows, maybe you’ll want to see Paul again soon or give him a call…” I trail off.
“No. I don’t want to see him or talk to him,” she replies while looking away, out the glass into the sunny courtyard beyond the window. “I don’t want to talk to him about what happened. I don’t want his pity or see him struggling to try to ‘fix things’. You were there. You saw…saw everything, so we don’t have to discuss it,” she explains. “And maybe it’s mean and callous of me to cut him out of my life, but he’s a good man. He doesn’t deserve this or for me to hurt him, but I can’t face him again. When I think about being with him, it makes me nauseous. Paul doesn’t deserve a wife who gets nauseous at the thought of being with him. This, a clean break, is best for both of us.”
“Fine. I’ll tell him it’s over.”
“Thank you,” Tessa replies. Glancing down at the diamond engagement ring on her finger, she twists it off and holds it out to me. “Give this back to him for me?”
“It’s such a beautiful ring,” I say with a sigh as I take it from her. “I’m sorry you’re not getting your happily ever after in a few weeks, but that doesn’t mean you won’t ever get one.”
“Charlotte, please. Everything changed. I’ve changed, whether I wanted to or not. The future I wanted is gone forever. Now I have to figure out how to survive normal everyday activities like walking past a van or passing a strange man in the grocery store without worrying he’s going to kidnap me.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell her.
“Me too. Tell Paul I’m