A Rogue to Ruin (The Pretenders #3) - Darcy Burke Page 0,96

and yet terrified by what he might say next.

“It’s that I killed him in retribution. I stole into one of his flash-houses where he was, and I cut his throat open, just as he’d done to Eliza.”

Anne clapped her hand over her mouth lest the sob gathering in her chest escape. After everything he’d endured, to suffer the loss of the family he was building was unimaginable. It was no wonder he held himself apart, that he’d tried to keep her at arm’s length.

When she trusted herself to speak, she lowered her hand. “You haven’t lost me. And you won’t. I still love you. I will always love you.”

“Truly?” He brought his hand to the side of her neck. “I can’t imagine you loving me when I can’t really love myself. When I lost Eliza, I lost myself. I didn’t think I could be found.”

“Well, I found you. And I’m not going to let you go.”

He dragged his thumb along her jaw. “Sometimes the depth of my emotion frightens me,” he said softly. “It’s why I tried so very hard to hold myself from you, despite being pulled quite strongly toward you from the moment we met. Losing Eliza, discovering how I lost my parents… If I lost you—”

She shook her head fiercely, thrilling at his admission of the way he felt about her from the very beginning. “You won’t.”

He smiled, but there was a sadness in his eyes that pressed on her heart. “I will always be afraid of losing those I love. That’s simply what happens to me.”

“You haven’t lost Selina.”

“No, but I nearly did. We were apart for almost twenty years, and that was my fault.”

She put her hands on his cheeks, holding him tenderly. “None of this is your fault. How can you even think that?”

“It’s amazing what you can get yourself to believe.”

“Then believe this: I love you, and you’re quite stuck with me.” She lifted her left hand from his face. “I have the betrothal ring to prove it.”

“I was certain you’d want to cry off,” he whispered.

“I was angry.” The edge of her mouth lifted in a wry smile. “But I really didn’t want to endure a second broken engagement because my betrothed was arrested.” She inhaled, the smile fading. “You aren’t going to be arrested, are you?”

“I don’t think so. At least not according to Harry.”

“He would know.” Anne caressed his jaw, his collarbones.

He put his hand on her thigh, the warmth of his palm heating her skin. “You had every right to be angry, particularly about Chamberlain. He’s a blackguard. I’ve had to talk myself out of having him thrashed in Newgate.”

“You could do that?”

“I know many people,” he said darkly.

“How did you meet Gilbert?”

“He came into a gaming hell I owned near Covent Garden.”

She gaped at him. “You also owned a gaming hell?”

“Two. I sold them last year.” His fingers skimmed along the rise of her hip.

“Is there anything you haven’t done?”

One side of his mouth ticked up. “I haven’t been an earl.”

“Not yet,” she said with determination. “You need a bandage. And some rest.”

“Are you inviting me to stay?”

She slipped from the bed and picked up her dressing gown from the bench at the foot. “For a while.”

“I’ll go before it’s light.”

Tying the gown closed, she went in search of something to use as a bandage, eventually finding an old petticoat in the bottom drawer of a dresser. She tore a strip of fabric from the hem and hoped it would stretch around his chest. To be sure, she ripped off a second length.

When she returned to the bed, he was under the covers, which were pulled up to his mid-abdomen. Half the rigid muscles were visible, and she licked her lips. He was so very handsome.

“Are you going to stare at me or put the bandage on?”

Exhaling, she busied herself with the task of tying the strips of cloth together and then wrapping them around his chest, taking care to cover his wound. She knotted the ends over his sternum and surveyed her work. “That should be fine, provided you don’t exert yourself.”

“That’s a shame.”

“What manner of wife will I be if I don’t look out for your welfare?” She removed her dressing gown and lay it back on the bench before sliding into the bedclothes.

Before she could reach his side, he turned and drew her back to his chest. “We will try to sleep, then.” He kissed her temple, her cheek, the spot below her ear, his