Rogue Beast (The Rourkes #12) - Kylie Gilmore Page 0,11

not that old either, fortyish. They use makeup to age her.”

“No!” Sean and I say in unison.

Josie presses her lips together. “She’s nice, and so are you. I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

Sean gestures toward me. “Beast needs a woman who—”

“I don’t need anyone’s help,” I grumble.

Josie brightens. “Ooh, remember that nice Catholic girl your mom tried to set Brendan up with?”

We all crack up. Poor Brendan. Just when my brother brought home the love of his life, there’s Mom introducing him to Faith. Josie sure knows how to lighten the mood.

“Maybe?” Josie asks me.

“No!”

4

Harper

My phone vibrates with a text on the dining room table, where I’m eating dinner, and I stare at it, my pulse accelerating. Is Garrett following up with me for more? Do I want him to? I can’t deny the chemistry between us was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. And I really do like him. At the same time, I’m still hurting from Colton’s betrayal. I should’ve seen this coming. My ex, John, used me for a step up in the industry too. It’s just that Colton was so different from John, so casual and relaxed about everything, I didn’t think he had that kind of ambition in him. Guess he hid it well, and look how great it worked out for him. He went from a part in a music video to starring in a movie thanks to our “It” couple status. I haven’t even starred in a movie! Just small forgettable supporting girlfriend roles.

I ignore my phone, not ready to deal with whoever it is in my current state of mind.

I’m so sick of user men. John had been a guest star on Capital Asset during our first season. He poured on the charm, the gifts, the affection. I let my guard down, let him into my heart. We went everywhere together, even lived together. The press loved us, and as my profile grew playing Amanda, the buzz around us grew. I thought everyone saw what I did—a madly-in-love couple. A wedding was surely in our future. John’s career started building with supporting roles in two movies, and I was happy for him. But the moment he was offered the lead in a new superhero movie, he cut ties. He told me it was just the way the business works, nothing personal. Nothing personal to the woman you dated for a year! I never guessed how ruthlessly ambitious he was, until he showed his true colors.

Twice burned, and I won’t let there be a third time. I’m going to focus on work and that is it. My agent says I’m a TV workhorse, reliable to help any show shine, but I want more than that. I want a juicy part in a movie. The roles just aren’t coming my way. Maybe I should date myself to leapfrog into a better role. Sure worked for John and Colton!

I drop my head in my hand. I have to stop picking the wrong kind of guy. I need to listen to my gut more for warning signals that something’s not right. I read a book today about women who make bad choices in men. Yes, I’m that desperate for answers. I’m smart, yet I keep doing this. One of the reasons women choose the wrong men is because of abandonment issues, which I definitely have, since my mother left me as a newborn and wasn’t part of my life. I always suspected my strict grandmother drove her away, not approving of a nineteen-year-old accidentally pregnant by a married man. My father never wanted me. He had another family, and my very existence threatened what he had. My throat closes tight, my eyes hot. Unwanted, unlovable. I wipe at a tear and take in a shaky breath.

No wonder I’m screwed up about men and relationships. My father was a cheater who never once tried to contact his daughter. I learned young—men cannot be counted on. They won’t stick. And, somehow, I have to keep learning this lesson by choosing the wrong men.

So, okay, now that I know why I have this destructive pattern, I can be smart and end it. I’ll choose the right kind of man next time. A good trustworthy man. Once I’m ready to go back to dating, that is, way, way in the future.

One thing’s for sure, I’m never going to have a kid by accident like my mom. My child will be planned for and very much wanted with a loving