Peace Corp, but specifically here in the states. You can be a teacher or camp counselor or even work in wetland restoration.” She shrugged. “I’ve always loved to help others, to volunteer my time, and I thought it’d be a great way to do that before I got married and had kids of my own.”
I gritted my teeth against the urge to tell her she still could do those things — married or not. Just because she was committing to this man as his wife didn’t mean she had to lose her identity, surrender what she wanted for all that he wanted, but I knew it wasn’t my place to say any of that.
Then again, it probably wasn’t my place to have her ass rubbing against me, but I wasn’t doing anything to change that at the moment.
“But,” she said after a long, awkward pause. “That’s what’s so great about marrying Anthony. He’s a politician, and as his wife, I’ll have so many opportunities to help the communities we serve in. And when he’s president, I’ll be the first lady. I’ll be able to create and manage whatever charities and organizations I want. I’ll be able to make a difference.”
I nodded, but I still didn’t agree with it. “Well, that’s good, then.”
“Yeah,” she said, and for a moment, she seemed lost in her own thoughts before she came back to the moment with me just as I grabbed the reins from her, turning Tank around to head back toward the stables. “What about you?” she asked.
“What about me?”
“Do you want a wife, kids?”
“I do,” I answered.
She waited, and when I said nothing more, a soft laugh escaped her lips. “Well, please don’t tell me too much. After all, I didn’t share anything personal with you.”
I smirked, shrugging. “There’s nothing more to really say, is there? I do want to get married and have kids one day.”
“You’re twenty-eight,” she pointed out. “What are you waiting for?”
“The right woman.”
The answer rolled off my tongue so easily, but it shocked both of us. I stiffened behind her, aware of the space of vulnerability I’d put myself in, and Ruby Grace glanced over her shoulder, like she wished she could see my eyes after saying that.
“Oh,” she said after a while. “Well, that’s nice, Noah. That’s really nice. And I’m sure you’ll find her.”
I cleared my throat, ready to change the subject, but she beat me to it.
“What else?” she asked. “What else do you want in life?”
I shifted. “Honestly, not much. I just want to make whiskey barrels. I’m a pretty simple guy.”
“Why do I feel like that’s the first time you’ve lied to me?”
Her question surprised me, and I swallowed down the discomfort building more and more rapidly the more the conversation was focused on me.
“It’s not a lie. I’m a family man, I want to be here for my brothers, my mom, and, someday, my future family, too.”
I paused, and she waited, wanting me to keep going even when I didn’t know what else to say.
“I guess I kind of feel like a dad already, in a way,” I confessed. “Jordan and I really stepped up after my father died, and we’ve been taking care of Mom and the house and our younger brothers ever since. And now, Mikey is going into his senior year. He’s going to move out of the house soon after he graduates, and then Mom will be on her own, and I’m not sure what she’ll do then. If we sell it, put her in a smaller place, it’d probably be better for her. But then again, I can’t imagine us not having that house to go home to.”
Ruby Grace pulled Tank to a stop, turning enough so she could look at me. “So, it seems that where I feel smothered, you feel a little lost, huh, Noah Becker?”
I smirked. “I guess so, Ruby Grace.”
“Well, I’ve heard some of the best adventures come from finding yourself a little lost,” she offered.
“Oh, who told you that?”
“The wise Betty Collins, of course.” She smiled, shrugging. “This older woman I care for down at the nursing home. We’ve become good friends over the years.”
Looking at Ruby Grace in that moment, I didn’t see a girl. Her fair, young skin and wide, innocent eyes glowing in the moonlight told me she was still a girl, but her heart that volunteered her time to the elderly told me she was more of a woman than most I’d slept with.